Take A Moment

Amber light stands at the peak of the hill
As the last bastion against the majestic crush
Of the outside world filled with scattered dreams
And causes as lost as the minds that foster them.

The descending hill marks a slope that plummets
Deep into the myriad of sensual distractions that
Plague my every move despite the bitter cold.

The absence of a god of light and the heat’s
Intense glare cause a state of dissonance.

How often do you take that time?

Reviews

[marty360]

Great piece! Lived the line "Deep into the myriad of sensual distractions"!
Does make one think.

[marty360]

** Loved **

[Luke Rawlings]

Thanks! :D

[Mizo4]

it made me think which is a good skill, unique and fun to read

[Luke Rawlings]

Thanks, and glad I made you scratch your noggin :P

[Dr.Who.LOVER]

I loved it a lot the "Big words" for me added more of an intellectual depth to it which i loved.

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you! Glad you liked it :)

[Jo Todd]

I find im getting lost in the big words and am not able to imagine the whole picture, sure descriptive words are great in a poem but when I have to stop every five words and think about what a word means it distracts from the enjoyment of the poem. It doesn't have to be flowery to be good. Sorry this isn't a very positive review x

[Luke Rawlings]

I was trying to learn some new words so I tried including them in the poem... and it backfired. I'll think on what you said, thanks for the review :)

[R E Tree]

I like the title of this. It makes the poem very confrontational and the first stanza carry's it through. The strong imagery comes across as very direct to me like the poem is trying to absorb me to this place being described. The use of words such as scattered, lost, crush and bitter comes across as forced but it still gives a feeling of surrealism. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to feel threatened by it because its not exactly a cheerful happy place that's being described. But overall reading the title after the effects of the poem kinda makes it a bit funny because if someone told me to take a moment I'd feel like chilling out but the imagery being described in the poem is quite worrying. But anyway I do have quite a dark twisted humour sometimes

[Luke Rawlings]

Thanks for the review, I intended it to be quite a dark rendition of the common phrase. Just when one of those negative, oppressed moods takes over.