Whispers

Gathered voices,
Wrong choices,
Empty thoughts,
Misguided plots.

Forgotten deeds,
Malnourished seeds,
Closed doors,
Petty wars.

Do you know the people who know you?
Or do you know their lie, and your lie too?

Reviews

[Shaun Payton]

well Luke I may be off on how I read this, but I got a "the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry" feeling. Who whispers what and for what gain, and do we do the same while we blame those we know for whispering behind our backs. Anyway thats my take Luke, fine work with rhyme here too.

[Luke Rawlings]

I returned home and I was angry with what I returned to, so I wrote this. Sort of what you said, but not quite haha. Thank you for the review :)

[Shaun Payton]

Lol i gave it a shot lol you are welcome poet:)

[Alone In A Crowd]

The rhyme suits this poem well, The last two lines tie all the of poem together nicely and deeply. I love the meaning and concept of your poem and Ive added it to my favorites. Well done, great work, keep it up.

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you! I have been favourited, I feel strangely humble. I will write more like this then :P

[Wórdsmíth]

great one, it's a pretty nice writin', i liked your ink flow. words're appropriate, and moreover i just liked this one
Do you know the people who know you?
Or do you know their lie, and your lie too?......
it's flutter me and it fluttered me here, wht a good writin', i'd read more your work if i get time to read.
well written, it's a nice piece, beautiful wordin'ss

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you! I'll make sure to write stuff that makes you 'flutter' in future :P

[R E Tree]

From reading it gives the reader a calm gentle vibe from the start and then it is provoking towards the end. The way the questions are being asked like as someone should get the blame even the though writer is very self-involved with the situation.

Even the way the questions are structured they are quite complex.
"Or do you know their lie, and your lie too"
The more I read it the more I get the feeling that the writer is holding back on their emotions because of personal reasons. The expression is not very clear but perhaps its not meant to be. Therefore the poem gives a vibe of being trapped by problems that don't matter and should be forgotten to help the writer move on

[Luke Rawlings]

It was designed with a more rushed perspective, with random thoughts concluding with an actual coherent question. Thank you for the review :)