Listen to the silence

My thoughts are too crowded, scattered like birds,
I close my wet eyes but I feel no rest,
Everyone around me offers me words,
I see no clear solution to this test.
My mind is just filled with empty echoes,
Sleep is an unobtainable heaven,
I feel lost, I can not see what follows,
I seek solitude from all my brethren,
There are too many voices in my heart,
I need to escape this crushing prison,
My stagnant mind is adrift, torn apart,
I can not combat this opposition.
I must focus to find my salience,
My worn soul must listen to the silence.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

salience and silence...who would have thought that? okay, i am loathe to review writes by people who haven't friended me , and although this is very good...i am left to wonder who i have allowed onto my pages. hopefully there is a degree of reciprocation forthcoming. i hope you read my profile before your friend request. as for luke rawlings, good writer...i am still wondering where rose is.

[Luke Rawlings]

I am going to read your profile, don't worry haha. Thank you for the positive review.. I think :P

[TL Boehm]

it has always intrigued me the way silence can roar. A fine poem. Nicely penned.

[Luke Rawlings]

Silence can roar.. that is some good imagery right there... Thanks for the review :)

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

mind blown, into a hot orange art puddle; it's that black acrylic splatter in 3D...you had me at "scattered like birds"

but this is all so smooth and refined...I like the font change on the eighth line..that's really subtle and effective..I don't believe anyone else has mentioned it yet, but once you see it you understand how the change in font relates to the line of words inside it

and I love the multiplicity element of the word salience..I had to look it up and saw the three meanings and they all apply to your poem, so well done on that and everything else...so glad I stumbled onto your page

[Luke Rawlings]

Why thank you, a very generous review. I didn't intend to make the font change, it was by accident but most good things happen by accident haha. I am really glad you liked it, feel free to review others :P. Thank you! :D

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

the subconscious steering wheel is a strange apparatus...you did well; I shall return or loiter for a bit while I eat some food

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Silence is golden as they say. Only one voice needs to be heard. Quieting your thoughts may be a challenge but obtainable. Excellent read and write.

[Luke Rawlings]

Indeed, I aimed to communicate this. Just to find that one voice.. thank you for your review :)

[KAOlmsted]

Silence is golden...in this age of instant noise, everywhere we go there is this constant competition going on to win our attention, getting us tuned in, turned on, look at me, listen to me, blah blah blah...we need to just...sit with our thoughts, even if they are scattered like birds (awesome line, by the way) ;-) and just shut up and listen to the silence. I really enjoyed this piece, Luke. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

-kimmer

[Luke Rawlings]

Attention is a crazy matter, there is so much distraction you need to take a moment for yourself sometimes. You're most welcome, and thanks for the review ;D

[KAOlmsted]

My absolute pleasure.

[Luke Rawlings]

;D

[Coyote Poetry]

Silence is needed sometimes. Allow us to clear the head and re-set life and thoughts. I like solitude. Hard to find for me. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem. Strong description took the reader to places of thoughts.
Coyote

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you, the intention was to send people to that thinking place. Thanks :)

[R E Tree]

I like the creativity in this and the use of words. I find the poem quite hard to follow even the tenth time of reading it I'm still not getting my head around it. But I think its becoz "Listen to the silence" is perhaps a metaphor becoz in one of the lines it says everyone offers me words. From looking at the words u have used its like the sort of poem u would write if u were in the army. Soldiers write poetry in their spare time. The poem also reminds me of this song called Enjoy the Silence I think its the flow of words and how each line works that makes me think of that song

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you Rose. This is my attempt at a sonnet, so I guess a little army-like. :P.

[Barbara Kasey Smith]

This is a heart-rendering poem - I believed what you were writing! :) Blessings

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you, and God bless you too :D

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I've felt this way...as a matter of fact, several of my posted pieces follow this same narrative. "My thoughts are too crowded, scattered like birds,"--nice opening. There is a fine line between blocking out the feelings and blocking out your heart.

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you, I will read some of your stuff. I agree in part with blocking out things, but I think what you feel and what is in your heart are one. It just takes time to flesh out impulses from purer emotions :)

[Zap-the-awesome]

Been there man. Too much goin on, sometimes you gotta just block it all out.
Good write!

[Luke Rawlings]

Thanks again Joker, 'tis much appreciated! :D