Dejection

I live purely on the happiness of others

When I'm thinking I take some time to stop thinking about myself, but more about you.
You know who you are and you know why I'm writing to you in such a way that only you will truly understand.

I lived to see you smile as much as I can because it brought hopefulness to me.
Every smile, every greet, every laugh. It brought me joy.
And what I've learned from it all is that happiness is only temporary and joyfulness is everlasting.

You look at me now with disgust and anger, and with it comes doubt. A horrible, sour feeling, making my white heart a dark crimson, every good bright memory I've shared with you has become a shadow of the past. I can't help but care as much as I did before. Because I still have hope, without you, I feel like nothing.
A lost soul in this hopeless world.

I'm disgusted by my own actions and only wish to turn back time so I could just make the right decision and never have talked to you in the first place.

It would've saved the wasted time you've shared with me.

I love you with everything I have, and I can't help but listen to it ringing in the back of my head.

I told myself I was over you, but every time my phone vibrates, my heart still wishes it's a message from you.

I don't sleep anymore because my mind won't let me because the image of you is fading away with everyday that goes by.

I'm just glad to be alive, but you must not feel the same.

Author's Note

I can't help but think and when I write everything comes out and it comes out in the most interesting way.