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I lay in the tall grass staring up at the cloudless sky, the sound of my heartbeat rushing through my ears, a train in a tunnel, drowning out the whispers the stalks of grass made as he strode steadily toward me. Every breath was ragged, like I was breathing through a straw. I closed my eyes and prayed.

I woke with a scream caught in my throat as I bolted upright in my bed. Groping around in the darkness for the lamp on the side table, I scattered books and papers to the floor in my attempt to rid the room of shadows.

“It was just a f*****g dream. Just a dream,” I muttered hoarsely after finally turning on the light.

As I worked to slow my breathing, I rubbed my hand over my face, my heart still jack hammering in my chest. The panic still ran through my body, like a chill I couldn’t shake.

It was like this every time.

With a heavy sigh I reached for the sleeping pills on the table, popped the cap, and dry swallowed one. I didn’t want to risk going back to that place; sometimes it was better not to dream at all.

Author's Note

Looking for grammar and punctuation corrections, awkward phrasing, etc.
Reader response is accepted provided there is more than just "I didn't like it". Constructive critiquing is preferred.

Reviews

[Christoph]

Definitely a start that grabs attention.

Not really anything here that seems to need fixing from an editing perspective. Maybe the first comma ought to be a period, or alternatively "rushed" could be changed to "rushing".

I'll read on.

[JT Godin]

Oh, also good start. I like that it's short. I find that brevity is a problem I have trouble dealing with, but easing readers into a story is probably a good idea. A very inoffensive way to start off.

[JT Godin]

'Just a dream.' should end with a comma, since the action after the dialogue — muttering — is how the dialogue was said.