Hoping

You gave me everything that I had wanted. Gave me the best 55 months of my life. I was drowning in a sea of darkness when you came to my life. You reached for my hand and my surrounding had brightened in a split second. You were the best thing that had ever happened.

But then you changed. The brightness slowly dims as the clock ticked. Twilight seemed brighter than what we had. Here I am. Trying to change it. Trying to bring the light back. Trying to fight for what we once had. People surrounding us can't seem to fathom why I bother to try and salvage our relationship. I wanted to look at them straight in their eyes and shout profanities that I have never dared to say to someone in my entire existence. They would never understand. They would never know how you saved me from the darkness I once was slowly sinking into. You saved me when no one else seemed to bother and try to look at me. You saved me when all they did was try to sink me further into oblivion.

How, pray tell, would I forget what you have done for me?

Fate wanted to test us. You gave in and that's what hurts the most. The promises of forever you once told me vanished in just a blink of an eye. You gave up. You wanted some space, I gave it to you, but you didn't mention that the space you wanted would be filled with someone else. Yet, here I am, still trying to save what was left.

You told me it was all a mistake. I believed you. Not because I truly believed you, there were still doubts lingering every time we don't talk or every fight we have. I believed you because it was the only thing I can do. The only thing I wanted to do if I wanted this to work. I closed my eyes and willed myself to believe everything because I love you. The love I have for you was the only thing that I am firmly holding on in this relationship.

I want to be your world again. I want what we once had. I want the way you once loved me. I want everything to be back before all of this chaos started. I want our life back, it's the only thing that's keeping me sane in this crazy, chaotic world.

Please come back...