I am reminding you, still you feel
connected through interpretation -
imagining a subtle inflection
where a dull finger landed
or a meaningful pause
where I was struggling
to think of something
more to say;
each group of words
huddledtogether fearingyouranalysis.
That is why... I love you more than I can express
is left at:
Fondly,
and You mean more to me than is mentally comprehendible is left at:
Dear,
and everything in between is just
so much white noise when spoken out loud.
we aren't the same, we are different ...but sometimes people read us and think they know us...that they are kindred spirits...and yet? we have presented words that could mean anything...could be words that have nothing to do with what we are feeling at present..they can just be words and that's it.
i like readers to read my words and relate on their own terms...trying to psychoanalyze the poet is not the best idea..because most times we will be read wrong anyway.
i like this piece...especially the "fondly" and "dear" parts.
yes i have left a piece of me on the page..but not all of me, and not nearly enough that you can figure me out.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Nice to see you back again, Jacob. So many new faces. Makes me feel good.
Words can eit.. read moreNice to see you back again, Jacob. So many new faces. Makes me feel good.
Words can either be crystalline-descriptive or black smoke- deceptive. Carefully chosen or jotted down in mindless haste. In the end they are only words. Words ( on a page )
Wowsies! I have been there but am here now.
Rarely doubting why I left. So I sit by my lonely,
often unable to leave the comfort of my house
unless it's to go to fighting class or on some
unreasonable date where a hundred dollars
goes down the drain just to make me feel
like I care anymore. I don't know what is worse.
Timeless........unique........brutal in an atomic blast realization kind of way........you write like I think.........I strive for someone to feel "You mean more to me than is mentally comprehendible" when I attempt a verbiage connection.........yet so often I fall short of such brilliance.....and simply say "dear".......You have a wondefrul gift my friend.........thank you for sharing it.....
Peace, (really meaning I crave more of your feminine brilliance)
Bill :-)
I like the 'I am separate from you' as the look of it appeals to my misanthropy. I also like the 'huddledtogether' line as it suggests a herd of cattle drawing into a circle as the lion prowls.
I think from my experience as a copywriter coining ads...this poem is remarkable...i took the liberty of reading several other from your esteemed collection and found this structured appropriately to drive home the point...this is poetry not just mere copy, that i had to endure to pay the bills and wasn't very successful by the way...your poem touches the central theme of communication or the lack thereof....of interpretation or how to us all differently, and perhaps even being tongue-tied...i enjoy this primarily because it deals with communicating in a contemporary sense...i'm somewhat envious, wish i had conceptualised a copy like that for a recent campaign for a holiday cruise company...their main concept was that of story-telling, which thtey did a rather contrived job at doing, and i was a part of that project...i'm ashamed i sold out...but then i still got to put food on the table...very intelligent work, thumbs up LJW....
Dickinson said it in her antiquated little way, going to him happy letter, tell him, the words I couldn't say, tell him just how the fingers hurried and then how they waded, slow, slow, and you wished you had eyes in your pages so you could see what moved them so. . . well the memory is a little fuzzy.
It sometimes annoys me that well-meaning reviewers tell me the meaning of my words. As if they could imagine what I might have been thinking as I wrote them. As if all the little lines added up to one set meaning, and not the half-dozen that might have been . . .
Your work is exceptional. No need for interpretation. It does everything it should just as it is.
The going back to the original phrase at the end is a nice device. The repetition of analysis/comprehension highlights the central difficulty in writing or any form of communication--language is built on a finite number of words, while the possible interpretations of those words is endless. It's well built and does a fine job of taking a somewhat esoteric concept and making it accessible as opposed to dumbed-down. Fine, fine piece of writing.