communication difficulty

when something is hard to say

she watched her parents

looking for a way to

begin dad read the paper

mom sketched little

dresses and

moments passed

dad spoke

you have to stop fighting

with your sister

he didn't even lower the paper

but she wants me

to tell you something

I don't want to

time

stretched

what?

she wants me to tell you

she thinks

she's pregnant

paper down

his mouth

hung open

his hands

became

fists

i'll kill him!

her mom looked up

her words were

aimed

i thought it would be you

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

This is a very difficult subject to present to your parents, whether or not it's actually you. Parents, for some reason only listen when something catastrophic is told and then they rant like angry cats. The way you showed us this scene is really great, because there is some suspense in the story line. The ending is the best. Fine write L.J.
Best, B

[LJ]

Yes, indeed it is difficult, but I'm pleased you saw this poem as a story-told, because that's what it is... something I wanted felt with tension. Thank you for reading, reviewing and 'feeling' this!
LJ

[Chris Shaw]

Parents aren't perfect. They can get it wrong and when they do, it can cause long term damage. Words can hurt. We should never forget that. A slice of life. Powerfully conveyed.

Chris

[LJ]

Nobody's perfect, that much is true. The rest is very encouraging, thank you! LJ

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when parents make harsh judgments of their kids, it is so hurtful.
Very expressive poem.
Parents just don't think before they say or act.
I have been quite hurt by words like that, so I understand the feeling of this.
j.

[LJ]

Yes, a lot of feeling went into this. It was a tough situation for both the parents and the sister(s). Your understanding is very appreciated, as is your appreciation for the poem.
LJ

[John the Baptist]

Well, some things are easier to articulate than others. This poem conveys very powerful emotions in a brief, spare manner. First Dad drops the bomb about the sister's possible pregnancy, and his deep rage suddenly blossoms for all to see. Then Mom chimes in with the comforting opinion that she thought it would be the speaker rather than the sister. Some days, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

[LJ]

You have that right, thanks! (Though it was the speaker who 'drops the bomb' rather than the dad.) Yet I'm glad it hit pretty hard because that was the intent. I like your description of the poem as spare. I deleted many words to get there. Thank you. (:
LJ