Baby Steps with a Smartphone

taking instructions over a regular phone

slide the phone's cover off

he says but there doesn't seem to

be a cover to slide - yet he

persists, so you touch one corner

with un-nimble fingers and find

you can lift a sudden cover off,

it's a cover! it's a cover!

not part of the phone,

and it peels off like self-esteem,

like the outside of an orange to

be mixed with several others, 

orange juice, whew!

then he says put the tool

into the oval opening on one side

and it fits where a drawer-like thing

pops out when you push it in -

and you see a tiny white thing

which is called a sim card and appears

to be paper, small and fragile,

kinda like a hit of windowpane, and

it rests on something called an sd card

which doesn't look like anything, just

black plastic, oh no!

marked with gold piano-like keys,

you have to put it back in, he says

it should just slide in, he says

it really should just fit in, he says

and you say yes, yes, yes

while you guess which way to hold it -

up or down or around until

you see its outline in the tiny drawer

and ease that thing into place, then

leave out the old sim and close your new

used smartphone, omg!

Author's Note

Is this correctly called humor?
Did you understand the scene as said over a regular phone?
Did you feel the urgency and helplessness?

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

As a complete technophobe I can relate to this perfectly. Although I have to say you were far braver than me. I handed the new smartphone over to my grandchildren who not only talked me through it but actioned it all as well. So if you feel you were smartphone challenged, then I can assure you, you have met someone who is better at it than you. Yes, I appreciated the humour here LJ. Baby steps all the way, even now.

Chris

[LJ]

Wow. You called me brave...lol! I believe you would have done the same thing if your grandchildren weren't there. As it is, I now have a smartphone here that isn't even activated. Sheesh. I think I sat down for a while and didn't 'step' at all. :-P

[Paul Bell]

Well done you. You are now the proud owner of new technology that will change your life.
You will also find that the screen cracks just like magic, and you might be thinking to yourself, thought the bloody thing was supposed to be smart.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear LJ... have you seen the Movie, “What about Bob?”? It is a Comedy that came out a number of years ago, but one of my favorites. In the Movie, he takes Baby Steps. Your poem is exactly how I felt when I upgraded my I-Phone to Eleven... I had to go back to the store to discover where to plug in the charging cord.
I did not want to damage the Phone by too much pressure. I win the “dummy” award. Good poem. Bravo... Pat

[LJ]

Hah - that's an old memory you caused with mention of that movie! Yes, I saw long ago and forgot all about Bob's baby steps. I'm glad you like this poem, though you have to work to keep your "dummy" award! Thanks so much for your comment.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I have a smartphone. I seldom use it. I don't like to answer it should it ever ring. I have to tap and slide it with my finger instead of just clicking a button and answering. Technology makes everything more difficult. Or as I like to say, To err is human but to really screw things up, you need a computer. I thought this was funny and related to it well. I enjoyed the read. F.

[LJ]

Thanks! I like your quote about "To err is human..." and am glad you were amused by this story.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi LJ...I know exactly what you mean; I'm not a techie, but a few of my family member are. It's most frustrating when you can't figure something out. I empathize; I find this poem funny, and very on point...
Thanks for sharing.

[LJ]

Thank you! I find it a challenge to put photos here, even, not to mention trying to put a nice one with a written piece. It's rare I get it right. But I'm very glad you empathize, however you do. Thanks again. This was a fun poem to write.

[Betty Hermelee]

Don’t forget, not everyone is a techie!

[Dave Brown]

All very humorous and relatable
My wife bought me just a simple cell and I can't even handle that
Technology is not my thing

[LJ]

Well, looks like you got a new picture for your avatar, so you must be somewhat good with technology. It takes me forever to change mine.
And thank you very much for the encouraging words! If I can you smile, I'm happy too. (:

[Dave Brown]

Grandson didit...........)

[LJ]

haha - well, however it works! (:

[Unspoken poet]

so very cute, very descriptive as well.
Enjoyable read

[LJ]

So glad you like this, and even more that you get the description okay. I was wondering about that; if it would be confusing. Your comment put that at rest. Thanks again!