a little self-talk

thoughts about the way i write poetry

Swing large at the ball,

the bat your metaphor

the ball your subject

and, like in baseball,

swing high and miss it,

lose the bat too,

almost hit the catcher,

whiff it, to borrow

a golf term, but it's

all the same metaphor,

the same bat and ball,

though few folks swing

so consistently missing

the point as you do

Author's Note

You might be surprised how often i strike out, but maybe it's true for a few.
Does the rhythm hold steady?
Will accept any constructive criticism. Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha ha....yes, when our metaphors strike out...we get pretty embarrassed and ask to be traded.
Lots of free agent poets roaming around out there.
I think most metaphors will work pretty well if carried through...but some tend to use a different metaphor in ever line or stanza and just leave them hanging.
I like a poet who questions her batting average..it means she is a perfectionist...and will end up at the end of the season with the highest metaphor average.
j.

[LJ]

Batter up! lol
I don't know about having a good season, but I do know how to have a good time. No really, I like it here by the catcher, who whispers, "you'll never hit the ball but you might hit me." It makes me smile. Does he have a death wish? lol
Thanks a lot for this kind and entertaining comment. It also teaches - "please don't use mixed metaphors much, and don't leave one before you're through with it."
I always have things to learn about poetry, and you're a good teacher, including your poetry as good examples of home runs.
I've only visited NYC a few times, and that was the seventies. Of course, there's a story about each visit.
Thanks for sharing yours about growing up there.

[Dave Brown]

we are all our worst critics, whether our swing connects or not, practice makes perfect and its important to stay in the game
I think!

[LJ]

Noted and agreed with. Thanks, Dave!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I especially love this one, because I am such a baseball fan. I grew up in the Bronx, NY during the fifties as a kid...we had the dodgers, Yankees and Giants all there at the same time.
what a decade for NY Baseball and baseball in general...Got to go to the original Yankee stadium and watch Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and the others playing in their prime...