If You Can't See It

Just a poem/song I wrote.

 

If you can't see it,                              

Why must I say it?                             

Why give words power over me?      

Going unnoticed.                               

It doesn't concern.                             

Passing beside you.                            

That's why I've learned                                  

If you can't see it,                              

No need to say it.                               

Words won't have power over me.                

 

Everyone tells me                               

Just to be honest,                               

Watching pieces fall where they may.           

But isn't it clear?                                

I thought they all knew,                     

By taking chances                              

I lose control.                                     

My one obsession                               

My only defense       

Is stealing power from the words      

That hold me hostage                         

Here at your feet.                               

 

If you can't see it,                              

Why must I say it?                             

Why give words power over me?                  

Going unnoticed.                               

It doesn't concern.                             

Passing beside you.                            

That's why I've learned                                  

If you can't see it,                              

No need to say it.                               

Words won't have power over me.                

           

Everyone knows that                         

My actions lay bare                            

Words I hold captive deep within.    

So isn't it clear?                                  

I thought you would know,               

By living freely                                  

My thoughts are shown.                                

My one obsession                               

My only defense       

Is stealing power from the words      

That hold me hostage                         

Here at your feet.                               

 

If you can't see it,                              

Why must I say it?                             

Why give words power over me?                  

Going unnoticed.                               

It doesn't concern.                             

Passing beside you.                            

That's why I've learned                                  

If you can't see it,                              

No need to say it.                               

Words won't have power over me.                

 

Everyone tells me                               

Just to think clearly,                           

Surely I'm not alone in this.               

But isn't it clear?                                

You'd think they'd all know.             

By being honest,                                

I lay it all down                                  

There at your feet.                              

With no denial,         

With no blurry lines,                          

Now more than noticed                                 

A growing concern                            

Laying beneath you                           

That's why I've learned                                  

 

If you can't see it,                              

No need to say it.                               

Words won't have power over me.                

 

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

it is true that you might go through and perhaps remove the reference to not having to say "it" a time or two throughout this piece, and I might be wrong here. Yet it seems to me, that you refer here to three simple words that either you are afraid to speak, not knowing where you stand there, or perhaps that you feel by your actions, you speak them loudly enough that they should be known by the other party. you are perhaps right here, in that most times there can be that knowing without the speaking of them, yet still, they are nice to hear from one who loves us, and one we love in return.

As already mentioned, you refer quite a lot of times to "it", which wears thin after a while. I'm assuming that the point of the poem is not to tell anyone what "it" is and keep us guessing, but even then you're very elusive and that makes the poem hard to follow. It seems more like a riddle, in that the poem doesn't make all that much sense without the answer. I'm not saying you should tell us what "it" is, but perhaps be slightly less evasive when describing "it" so that the reader has a better chance of understanding the poem.

[Meradee]

I'm wondering what 'IT' is exactly. I'm just a little confused about that. I like the fact that you won't give words any power. To me this says I'm going to use the words to bring my power. Good job!
Pepper...

[J. A. Svercek]

It reads well as a song, but the repetition of words themselves (for example using "it" many, many times) makes the poem rather long-winded. I feel within this span of words, you could say a lot more than you did simply by diversifying the words that you do use.

Thanks for writing,
J.

[KieraCrimeScene]

This is really powerfull. Thank you for joining! and thanks for sharing! I really can't wait to hear more!