Success

Success can be found in the most random places. 

It hides in locations and in peoples faces. 

Its hard to find and identify.

But its possible, all I have to do is try.

I can't give up

The world is mine.

The day can be great, even more divine. 

To achieve my goal, happiness is required. 

Those dull sad days will soon be expired. 

I wont let go of ambition just yet.

I refuse to do anything I'll regret. 

I need to look up and get rid of this frown. 

Cause I can't see the stars if I keep looking down.

Reviews

[poeticpoet]

i really love the imagery i have one for you as well.



-
“Oh Well”


Sometimes I just feel,
Like my life is a bad poker deal,

I feel happy one day,
And then pain with know words to say,

There are moments when it couldn’t get any better,
But then it changes like bad weather,

I could say one thing and do another,
Know I’m stuck asking myself why do I bother,

Bother with dealing with the pain,
The pain I used to have that would drive me insane,

Now I just look in the mirror,
And stare right into fear,

But I don’t conqueror it like I should,
I stand there stuck like a piece of wood,

Other times I face fear and look it in the eyes,
But the fear I cant stand is the one with the surprise,

The surprise that I receive at the end of this game,
This game that I’m the winner of the hall of shame,

I don’t know weather it is a good thing or bad,
But I just have to not be sad,

Instead of showing my feelings I feel,
I will hold them inside to make my scars heal,

It may take time to do so,
but once I do I will know,

Know that everything happens for a reason,
And my pains will go away like seasons,

Although I can only be me,
Somebody will one day see,

See how it is to be in my shoes for one day,
And realize the meaning of the words I say,

And actually relate to what mean,
And find their lost and hopeless dreams,

But until then all I can do is think,
What I could see when I blink,

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Beautiful, lyrical inspiration.
This poem will certainly renew more than a few dreams.

[Kruppz]

I didn't notice the missing apostrophes though. ;)
The overall good work makes up for flaws. But perfect is even better.

[Kruppz]

The structure is good. The first 6 lines are good & catchy.

"To achieve my goal, happiness is required." That's right; a happy state of mind, constant dose of inspiration and joy keep your engine functioning.

Best line: "Cause I can't see the stars if I keep looking down." There seems to be a reason behind the structure. It's good. Being a part of the critics group, I'm supposed to mention if I find flaws too. But I can't see any.

Good job!

[Daniel DeLorez]

Good stuff. :) I like your positive outlook on life. I agree with Hotwater. The rhyme isn't forced at all. In fact, it flows quite nicely. I wouldn't change a thing. :)

With the exception of a few missing apostrophes, I didn't see any errors. Nice!

[Hotwater]

I don't think the rhyme is forced, just because the words are "so close" it doesn't make is "forced". This is good work, you keep at it... feck to others!

*bird*

[Nishant Gupta]

ur poem is really nice write, do have a look to mine "QUEST OF LIFE"-
" it is about how one neglects his life ,pondering about this precious gift of nature unnecessarily ".

[The Analog Kid]

Short but inspiring. Keep on writing.

[Ragin Cajun]

Great message very motavational.

[maximilian]

Positive tone, though some of your rhyme feels forced. Also the "dull sad" line comes across as a little lackluster, which is a shame in the build to the end as I felt that the last two lines work especially well.