I Feel Alone

I feel alone. 

I wish the world alone could be spelled with just one letter just to show the symbolism of what the word means and how I feel.

There is an empty gap in me and I don’t know how to fill it. 

I want love… But I can’t decide where I want it from. 

I want happiness, but I can’t even grasp a smile long enough to call it my own. 

I just feel alone, even when I am with ‘friends’…. 

As if I am simply tolerated rather than appreciated. 

I am just there to fill their empty void until someone that they actually care about shows up. 

Who could want my presence anyway? 

There isn’t anything wrong with me. 

But at the same time, there isn’t anything right. 

I am simply here. 

Left to observe the others around me. 

I can’t heat a single conversation around me because so many different voices and ideas are being shared at once. 

The blending of the words almost creates a new language. 

Because words are indeed being said….

But they are heard in a way no one will ever be able to understand. 

I wish I spoke that language, because then I would have a reason no one understands me and leaves me alone. 

Who do you become when you don’t want to be you anymore?

I just hope one day I become happy being me. 

I know my problems.

And I know my insecurities. 

And I know I am the only one capable of fixing them. 

I just worry so much about being compared to other people…. 

When I am the biggest offender of doing so to myself. 

I want to be able to look in a mirror, 

Look at myself and say that I am completely in love with me. 

Not in a narcissistic kind of way, but just in a way that I am comfortable with being me. 

I can see beauty in every single person that I pass by. 

Have it be their personality, their hair, their eyes, their skin… 

Always something beautiful. 

Why is it that when I look at me………

…………………………………….I see nothing. 

Reviews

[I Am Svetlana]

"Who do you become when you don’t want to be you anymore?
I just hope one day I become happy being me. "

If we don't wanna be who we are anymore, we are who we imagine ourselves to be, who we wish to be. And the goal in life is to be happy with and accept yourself first before anyone else, but some don't bother doing that step. We can't all be in love with ourselves or think we're "perfect" cause honey, no one is nowadays...no matter how much we may want to think so. We only be the best we can be every day. No matter what others may think. I feel that as long as we understand ourselves well enough, our insecurities, our flaws, fears and strengths, accept them all and then we can see ourselves as "perfect" in our mirror. Some might not agree with it, but it's what I believe. It takes time to accept who we are and be comfortable with it...just take it one day at a time. Don't bother trying to rush it.

[A. Amos]

Deep and profound piece of art, so many shades of life you have shared above including yourself... good work and great read

[Dez H.]

Wow ms lady if that's how you really feel i dont really know you but i would send you a box of kittens, mixed with sunshine and lemon drops just to get you to feel better. Your writing talent alone plus the good reviews should give you a boost at the end of the day. I'm a fan and i see others that like your works so buck up. Plus you're a cutey so you should love looking in the mirror and being in love with yourself.
Just something to make you smile.

[Cyrano]

I read something today. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. You are imperfect because you THINK you are imperfect. In reality you just are.