Adolescent Vertigo

I like to think that a lot of people can relate to this. Let me know what you think!

 

God I fell in love again

But descended into dark

My fragile zeal wisped into smoke

My pluck dissolved to dust

The lights went like extinguished flame

I blindly walked the paths

I knew or thought I knew

I want to sense your touch.

 

What's that? A light? I hear your voice

Dulcet echoes calling my name

'I love you too' - My heart ignites

Banishing the pain

Alas, three months, I start to dim

I know you like my life

As if we are as one, controlled

By you, my freedom slowly dies

 

So then we talk - 'It’s me, not you

I don't think we can work'

Doling out clichés, the status quo

In the standard way, we separate.

But now I’m gone, adolescent trauma

I feel the pangs of lust

But I see another standing there

Smitten, I can’t refrain

 

God I fell in love again.

Reviews

[LynGeist]

Haha... I love this. As a parent of two teenagers I can identify with this. I love the subtle way it rhymes too.

[ralphcloud]

Teenage love is ever ending stories of crushes and mending. I like the piece very nice put.

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Thank you!

[LynGeist]

Fun fun fun to read. Left me with a smile on my face. It's a very smooth poem and most definitely sounds like something familiar. Happy Writing.... Lyn

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Thank you!

[Into_The_Cosmos]

Reminds me of what I went through my sophomore year in high school. I was a mess!! And this poem goes to everything that was happening. I really like this one. Make more like this!!

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Thank you! And don't worry, I will when the time comes!

[Nikki Hughes]

I can totally relate to this. You just keep doing what you are doing, it's working.

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Wow! Thank you!

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

God i fell in love again ...
and i really fell for your poem , lovely ^_^

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Thank you Hadeel!

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

you are so welcome :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Lewis, you're absolutely right that a lot of people can definitely relate to this poem. You have presented a well thought out idea of teenagers cycle of romance. It is definitely a lot like mine that's for sure. It's the same cycle over and over until we're grown-up and realize that love is much more than what we make it seem like it is. It's hard to believe who means what they say these says, because there's so many liars in the world. It sucks because you're so totally like in love with the person, and they're into someone else even though you have no clue about it. Love sucks at times. It's supposed to be a beautiful thing though. I am saving my heart for the right person.

"So then we talk-'It's me, not you
I don't think we can work' --I think many can relate to this. Those are words no one really wants to hear at any given time in their life. I have heard them though sadly.

Sidenote: Wonderful explanation and outstanding choice of words :)

Ashley Rivers-Dream BIG and you'll win BIG ;)

[CecilA]

Wonderfully composed and thought out poem. I too love the line "Doling our cliches, the statis quo."

[BreethesFire]

This is soooo convenient for my life. What a great poem!!!

[Bitter Overdose]

a good write, and not only because it's like - what? - 100% relateable, but you took it and you put it really nicely. love this.