old photos

two silver lines sliding towards each other

scissors

a drop of water on the page

my tears

distorting the smile on the photo

 your face.

an orange glow from the plastic tube

fire

 

combine now to relieve this greviance

my smile.

Author's Note

my pathetic first attempt at poetry.

Reviews

[Emily]

Not pathetic by any means. I like this. your technique is good, focus on the images, like you're already doing. I love how this poem unfolds with each new image, almost like a photo album telling a story. I can't wait to see more of your poetry. Keep at it. This is really good!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Not pathetic at all! In this poem I see a broken relationship gone bad, and she or he is over come with grief and burns the photo!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

your imagery is stunning~ coaxing the unfolding of the scene through the exquisitely utilized line breaks and language is divine~

[Kenneth Sibbett]

That's not pathetic. You write with honesty and thats all a writer has I think.

[Dark Angel ~]

It ok! :) For a first, it's very nice