Wake Not My Sleeping Child

 

Frothy air

Swan struck loveliness

Float feather light

Into my dreams

 

Whisper soft

Misty shroud

Supplant my darkness

If only for a little while

 

Before Dawn breaks

Night

Visit me

Touch me

 

But wake not

My sleeping Child

Rose lipped

Breath upon my neck

 

Touch me now

Touch my soul

Undo my sorrow

Make me whole

Author's Note

Not sure if this one is quite where it needs to be. Comments welcome....

Reviews

[Brette Medb]

There's something unique about this one and I can't quite put my finger on it. It's not that I don't like it because I do, it's just unlike what I usually read. It reminds me of this chantesque thing my mother taught me to say when I couldn't fall asleep. I think you should keep it just as it is.
Nice work,

Brette

[Cynthia Barrick (CHING..]

good write

[Robert Luna]

Oh, I really loved this one a lot. It was quite a wonderful piece to allow my thoughts to wrap or warp around. I love the scene it paints in my mind's eye. I see a person calling out to a darken lover that dwell in shadows. I a world that can not be seen by normal man. I this place they find the passion that seek and a love they need. I think that was beautifully displayed in my head. I am so glad you sent this my way.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Clockwork]

The mother needs the comfort of an exterior entity, but does not want to expose the child to the same thing. The mother wants to be whole, to be something of significance and with this outside force she is. She knows however, that this force is not a good one, one that destroys and corrupts. She does not want her child exposed to it, to be tainted by it, so she finds it under cover of darkness. She gets her fix, becoming whole, telling this force not to harm her precious child.

[Angel's Lady]

Honestly, my first thoughts: Oh, how precious! And the photo! Precious as well! Is this lovely sleeping child YOURS? Too dang cute either way! Simply scrumptious!

Rose lipped
Breath upon my neck

Absolutely loved that line! Too precious for words! I can almost smell that new baby smell! I loved this piece! Quite nicely done and again, with the smile creating, you are pure genius! Thank you so much for sharing this piece with me. And to think, I might have missed it!

[Alex McFadyen]

This is hard one to review. I really like it, and I understand it, I think, but then maybe not. Why is the air frothy? Is it the child that is "rose lipped?" Is the "misty shroud" the supplanter or a quality of the supplanter?

What I am getting from it is that the mother wants to keep her child's innocence. but she is a woman who has needs that aren't always deemed innocent or pure. She wants to fufill that aspect of her life, as long as her child does not become aware.

A parent's integrety must be apparent so that her child can look at her with respect.

That's what I think when I read this poem. Is that what you were going for?