Remember Me

Tay's contest kind of inspired me...not sure if this one is done yet...

Remember me

I was that girl that you hated so

You didn’t like my clothes

Or how hard I road

My bike to get away

From your taunts of my tatters

Not that it mattered

Any way

 

The blows at home

Surely hit harder

Left me lots lower than yours

 

Now life is different

Although your indifference

To my pain I will never forget

But it’s you who’s now broken

Whose shame is unspoken

Busted and battered

Your treasures all scattered

You’ll never stop getting to get

Reviews

[The Elder Pine]

Ah I know the feeling. People are dense and indifferent most of the time, and they don't stop their ignorance to become acquainted with those they encounter. It is a sad epidemic in our world, on that is likely to stay for quite sometime. This is different from your other piece, but it is still very good. There is a great deal of raw emotion here and you can really feel it as you read.

[E. M. Murren]

I like this a lot. Aren't contests wonderful for inspiring beauty? LOL We so often hear ourselves judged. It is always interesting to see what happens to those who judge us harshly. Yes, I like this a lot.

[J. James Reider]

I like how you managed to portray a certain amount of bitterness in this piece... it may be dark, but darkness here is essential.... I also love the reversal or roles that make for such a poetic and ironic ending... so often the victims of abuse can not succeed because of the handicap of being held back from the start, so anytime we can write about one, or hear about one who overcame that it is especially cool...

[Shadows of Sight]

The road of life brings us many challenges. When we are young, we are not able to pick our parents or their financial station in life. We are at the whims of their fortunes. It's hard growing up with out those that the other kids have. They do tease and they do taunt, often the pedal of the bike is what gets us away, so that we can find the peace to grow better for the blossoming of our own day!
This brings a story close to my heart.
Great Job! :)

[Robert Luna]

I liked this very much and think it is a wonderful way to start my read request off. It had me smiling to myself with the image of a bully being put in their place. Made for a enjoyable read and a wonderful piece to imagine. I wish you tons of luck in the contest.


Great Job!!!!!

[[untitled]]

This is good. The image you made is very powerful. I loved how you placed the twist in the last stanza. Very well written!