A peom of me and you

You think that this is not a poem is going to be about you, right

Telling about how we met and I fell in love, with you, 

The fragrance that had me bewitched, 

The smile that made my hard beat. pom-pom, 

OR that time I lost myself in your eyes, 

But it is not, Oh, but don't be conceited

Thinking this is poem of how you broke my heart,

Falling into an abyss of despair, because of you, 

Or weeping in front of no eyes, 

Keeping this pain from suffocating me, 

Allowing no thought of you enter my mind, 

But it not, oh but don't be conceited,

Thinking this poem is about overcoming this, okay

Finding a new love, 

Regaining this smile i thought i lost, 

Realizing this world's beauty, 

Becoming strong and beating all those emotions i once felt, 

The poem is just telling, how this poem is not about you, okay

Reviews

[Sindu]

This is a nicely driven piece.. I can feel the anguish and the heartbreak which masked all the beautiful feelings that were once experienced. The force and repetitions drive the message. Through the time people change and more so in a way that hurts rather than a caring one and that, poem captures.

But I think you may cut out some 'right's and 'okay's. They lose their use other than in the correct lines.

[EL LAO]

Thanks for the advice, since I am new to writing poems and just tried put something I quickly thought up.

[Sindu]

Welcome.. It's so much better now :)

[Sindu]

It doesn't matter. You will keep learning. I'm new too :)

[lili]

Um coração partido é sempre doloroso.
Mas o tempo tudo cura.
E o próximo amor que vier não será o teu primeiro amor, mas será o melhor da tua vida!