That Spooky Night

That Spooky Night It's Hollow's Eve the moon is bright looks like a wonderful night But is it. They say that the old train is coming it gives me such a fright For you see this train is haunted they say when people get on they don't get off I will never forget that night on the dark train, I was one of the lucky ones, all the people sat in silence... gave me the creeps Not a word was uttered as I went to talk to the Conductor it was clear something was wrong for there was no engineer the train was driving itself. I was in shock I couldn't say a word when I saw a man  standing behind me who clearly was not of the living. As the train moved faster no one said a word the lights would blink and there was such a stench in the air It smelled like death everywhere. I walked by the people they did not move they did not speak   It was then I knew this train was for the restless souls who could not sleep why they didn't see me I will didn't understand The train was slowing down when I heard a voice say you are now home this is your stop what was I to do this was not my home. One woman got up and took me by the hand hers was so cold my bones ached. She said your home now no! no! no! I screamed and jerked my hand from hers I ran off into the bright moonlight as they all ran after me oh what could I do I ran back to the train it was dark motionless and eerie. I was trapped they were  all around me I screamed leave me alone please I don't belong here This Halloween night was such a fright but to my amaze the train suddenly jolted forward I could hear the wheels against the steel track. when I turned from the dark and made my way back into the car to my amazement the passengers were sitting, very much alive, in the brightness of the light. As I made my way back to my seat the lady who had earlier taken my hand was very much alive. She winked and said nice to see you made it back not all do you know... Why was I was spared? All she would say is Oh Missy we don't ask why.... Original by Diana Hall October 2008 Gargoyles Artist: Midnight Syndicate Steam Freight Train Joel's Train Room   Page Design by Donna DeLong Matthews

Reviews

[Mr. Misanthrope]

I love these situations. Imagine how creepy it must be, getting on a vintage train, probably supernatural, with no conductor. And it would be some transportation for the souls of the dead to the Underworld. This reminded me of a Hey Arnold episode I had once watched.

Very eerie. The train's horn is still resonating in my ears.

Luke:)

[Poets Soul]

This was one of those stories that capture you and won't let go until the end. Enjoyed ty PS

[J.Black]

WOW this was excellent!
I love the picture that follows this as well.

Overall, I am in love with this. The flow was good, and same with the tone.

keep it up! x

[samaveiled]

i love the concept. it sparked my imagination, and made me want to write too! you may have inspired to try a short story again, i havnt done one for years! writing stories requires a certain commitment. lol. a relationship with your story ive been afraid to go for. but you make that commitment with ease, and make it beautifull, with imagery and pictures...i love your disipline. and i love reading stories too, *giggles*

[Antony]

I liked this story, it reminded me of those stories they put on from the Twilight Zone. You never know what is happening until the end of the story and then, there is no real explaination except our own imagination. You have captured that feeling with this piece.
Tony

AHH I love this it's spooky and so halloween-ish. I like the parts of dialogue like 'no!no!no!' and 'oh what could i do'. It just made me feel sorry for the character for feeling so helpless.

Great job.

[Wicahpi]

Great Halloween poem! I love trains, too! lol Well done & delightfully spooky.

[Floydine Haberdasher]

This was a really nice piece...fun to read, had a nice flow... I like how you included a picture, too. This poem is great for Halloween. :)

[Ray Hamilton]

Another wonderful piece of work
Great Halloween write, I enjoyed it
Tell me they weren't serving tea, I don't want any thanks
Had my fill of tea at The Three Witchkateers house LOL
Ray

[darkgurl]

What a wonderful halloween write, I have goose bumps, very well written...Kim