This is beautiful, tragic and sad all at once. I've seen a lot of people on here try to do rhyme ... and not succeed. They don't take the care that you have obviously taken here, making sure each rhyme fits ... tending to the rhythm of the poem while maintaining the integrity of the message. These are some of your best words.
Thank you Swiney. That means a lot to me. I do love rythym and rhyme, and finding that perfect met.. read moreThank you Swiney. That means a lot to me. I do love rythym and rhyme, and finding that perfect meter, and I think that has a lot to do with why I can (often)do it. If you try to force it, it shows, glaringly.
12 Years Ago
I LOVE it when you call me Swiney!!
12 Years Ago
LOL! Well CSG just seems so bloody impersonal, and I refuse to say it!
This is beautiful, tragic and sad all at once. I've seen a lot of people on here try to do rhyme ... and not succeed. They don't take the care that you have obviously taken here, making sure each rhyme fits ... tending to the rhythm of the poem while maintaining the integrity of the message. These are some of your best words.
Thank you Swiney. That means a lot to me. I do love rythym and rhyme, and finding that perfect met.. read moreThank you Swiney. That means a lot to me. I do love rythym and rhyme, and finding that perfect meter, and I think that has a lot to do with why I can (often)do it. If you try to force it, it shows, glaringly.
12 Years Ago
I LOVE it when you call me Swiney!!
12 Years Ago
LOL! Well CSG just seems so bloody impersonal, and I refuse to say it!
Sometime we read into strong and powerful words. See real emotion and mind of people. I remember when I was station in California. The gathering of Poets and Musicians allow you to become close friends with people with the same goals and desire.
"Wishful thinking
a mere fools plight
to think you dream
of me tonight"
Sometime we wish and look for things hidden in secret places and corners. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote
a person that is still in love, but is not sure how the other feels, and they try to read in bewteen the line coming up with no answers! Excellent poem
As I was reading this the words ' reading between the lines here' tumbled into my mind and there you go, saying just that at the end not once but twice. There are so many times when it's almost too late to go back, but a second passes and the moment's gone. Day later, the great truth dawns and yet you keep searching for what was.
You've written this superbly, the meter's fine, you construct beautiful phrases and there's a magical touch of longing .. ' Wishful thinking~a mere fools plight~to think you dream~of me tonight'
I read this yesterday and I didn't have the words to review it so today I read it again. It feels like a connection made between two creative souls and now that connection is lost and one is seeking to hear anything of the lost past between lines written today. It is a hard situation but your poem brings it home clear with the emotions of wanting but the wit and willingness to not get lost in it. Excellent write.
Hello, I'm known as LA or LL. I am a bit of an enigma, but I like it that way. I'm on a bit of a hiatus from the site for now, as life has gotten a little busy, but I shall return.
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