Why?

Why?

A thousand places you could choose to hang your hat

but you come here, night after night

you sit on your barstool, watching me surreptitiously

through a veil of smoke and haze

you never speak or acknowldege my presence

but I can feel you there watching

from the shadows and murky silence

feel your eyes roaming my skin and thoughts

longing to touch me yet again

your presence unsettles me

do you think to save me?

do you imagine I will finally look up and see you

that drunken recollection of the past

shall bring me to my sober senses?

I can't drink with a guilty conscience

I smile wryly, jaded by experience

order another, this one for the road

looks like it's time to move on

 

 

funny thing about these places

old haunts all look the same

and after a few drinks, it'll feel just like home

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Feels like reminisces of a one night stand, or a time when your mind was clouded and now you have much better judgement and or clarity, but it's still a bit tempting. You are the master of subtleties LA.

'I can't drink with a guilty conscience.'

Love it.

[LA Lorena]

thanks Frieda. You do know that I don't drink, right? :) and I never have, but it fit the purposes of this poem. thanks for reading.

[Frieda P]

Never, ever? Was my pleasure as always.

[LA Lorena]

well, rarely. maybe a glass or two of wine, but not what one would call drinking.

[Ken Simm.]

Sad, it captures the world precisely. It makes no judgements and breaks no illusions but it still says an awful lot. And what it says makes absolute beautiful, if sad, sense.

[Verser]

A sadness pervades this poem, created by everything from the imagery to the unmistakably sad voice of the poem. The resignation of the speaker is questionable. One for the road, but then she stays, "just like home." Works nicely.

[Jack...]

Isn't that the truth? I think I'll have another. Nice one.

[CreativeStroke]

I really enjoyed this piece LA. The context you wrote it in really brought it to life for me. Well done!

[Michael G.]

Lived several lifetimes in a few places like this. Many overseas. For one who doesn't go into bars, you captured this very well. Good write.

[LA Lorena]

Thank you michael.

[Michael G.]

You're welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think you meant "choose" in that one line

this is interesting...and dark and the surreptitiously line is so great.

i see this two ways...as frieda said..could be a one-night stand....watching you...

but it could also be an alcoholic dealing with her demons...the conscience because she has fallen off the wagon....and doesn't want to be reminded but is..

her other self sitting on the bar stool staring at her...saying, "what are you doing?"

i love this piece.

one of your best.

jacob

[LA Lorena]

thank you Jacob! It could be a lot of different things, depending on the reader. (For me, it is about being haunted by a past ghost showing up and becoming a regular at one's place of solace and disturbing the peace, necessitating the need to find peace in another place.)

[Antonio Valentino]

why? probablly because thats where you find many socially inept and lonely types.. among many other different types of folks too of course..

this was really great, you tell such real stories, this was so easy to envision happening at any dive bar from a lady's perspective..

wonderfully done :)

[Annabelle Lee]

a sad and sarcastic write. loved itven more fo just that.

[FJ Davis]

Except for my wife, I've rarely picked up women in bars; did once play "kneezies" with a breathtakingly beautiful former madam, though. After several minutes of pushing too insistently for warmer, wetter confines, she suddenly very loudly announced what I was doing.
While thoroughly mortified, I nonetheless persisted for a bit longer; I had so set my heart on--very soon--switching to manual. One bartender and two house flunkies then intervened, however; unceremoniously showing me the door.
What too much alcohol--and not nearly enough woman--will do to a man!
"Why" is an extremely smartly-styled piece of work; dramatically offering rather keen socially-weary perceptions in a slick, darkly amusing manner.
A great poetic mini-story, Not-to-Be-Confused-with-a-Former-Bobbitt Lorena!

[LA Lorena]

Thanks Franky-baby. I enjoyed the review, but more so your story. I like the way you tell em. xx

[Distant horizons]

This one for the road...Once bitten, twice shy? Or was it just a horrific memory ofthe games beer goggles play on your mind?
Beautifully captured memory of finding the balance of keeping it a memory, and learning from it too.

[LA Lorena]

One for the road- sometimes you just have to know when to move on, even when others don't. Thanks for the read Lorry.

[Distant horizons]

:-)