The Checkout Line

My first attempt at a story.

I hate grocery shopping.  Never fails I invariably end up in the wrong line, the one where the cashier is either new, or the little old lady in front of me demands a price check on every other item. Today was no different. The cashier did not need to change the till tape right as she was about to start my order, so I should have seen the omen. Then it happened. A couple falls into line behind me, a squalling infant held in arms. I turn to look, and freeze.

 

Fifteen years since I last saw him. Time has been kind it seems.  A few more lines around his eyes, but still that same intensity to them.  Back then, they always seemed to be undressing me. The hair a little thinner than I remember running my fingers through, but not yet overtaken by grey.  Still the athlete's body I notice, not a trace of paunch, and as if by reflex, I straighten my shoulders a little, flatten my stomach some. It helps that his wife has not lost the baby weight obviously, and I feel only slight less self-conscious. Still, I would have preferred they been in front of me, not behind. Not my best angle.  I shimmy a little to the side, trying to obscure the offending vision somewhat. Camouflage with the grocery cart. (I've done this before)

Lean slightly forward so he does not see the items on the belt, obviously too meager to feed more than one. The conveyor belt screams judgement. I silently plead with God to let this cashier be quicker about it.

 

He speaks.  Oh, that accent. You can take the man out of Manchester, but not the Manchester out of the man.  That's not changed a bit. How well I remember how just the sound of it saying those naughty things could set me on fire. Damn, but it's hot in here! My cheeks flame red, as I recall those wild nights of ecstacy, unbridled passion, broken bed frames and wearing the biggest smile I have ever sported in my life. Can't the damned b***h pack my things any faster??? 

 

Recognition. I resign myself to it. Pleasantries exchanged, the words meaningless and forgotten now. They never were important to us, those who were more accustomed to paying lip service and speaking in tongues.

 

I pay the lady, hastily grab the handle of my trolley and begin to wheel away, "good to see you again Tony" I lie through gritted teeth, hopeful to make good my escape before it all comes flooding back to him, as easy as the dampening between my trembling thighs.

 

"Good to see you too,Tiger".

 

Too late.

Reviews

[That_Girl]

I knew I would love this no matter what when I read the title. Not sure if you want critiques or are just posting this for the hell of it, but I noticed you changed tenses a few times. Just a thought. Besides that, you wrote it well, I was entertained the entire time.

I also hate grocery shopping and checkout lines but never once has something like that happened to me while standing in one. I just might tolerate it a little more if it did. At least it would cut a little bit of the boring out. :) Nice job!

[LA Lorena]

Thanks That Girl. The change in tense is deliberate, as the story goes back and forth between present and past. I never mind feedback, it is appreciated.

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for stopping by. Me? I prefer my trips to the grocery store to be boring. Then again, I'm old and can't take the excitement. ;)

[That_Girl]

This was where I got tripped up. "Then it happened. A couple falls into line behind me, a squalling infant held in arms. I turn to look, and freeze." Happened/turn. I don't know... I had to reread it.

The most fun I've ever had involved condoms, naturally. ;p But every other trip is like my personal version of hell. Rude adults, slow seniors, screaming brats... I just can't take it! lol

[LA Lorena]

LOL! I go on Saturday nights sometimes, just to avoid the crowds, and because I have nothing else to do on Saturday nights.

[That_Girl]

So THAT'S when I should go... Hmmm I'll keep that in mind. These Friday afternoons are starting to wear on me. ;) Kidding, I would die before going on a Friday afternoon...

[bob, small b. aka invs]

makes me wonder what it must be like to leave enough of an impression to provoke this kind of thinking. he must have been very good or you been very impressionable.

[LA Lorena]

I'm not impressionable in the least. we lasted only slightly longer than his furniture did. ;)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh those awkward encounters with exes... "shimmy a little to the side", that is cute... you always want to make them think you are doing better now then you were with them but you always run into them in the most unflattering of moments... I think that is part of God's sense of humor. I enjoyed the story.

[LA Lorena]

glad you enjoyed my story and my discomfort dale! ;)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Oh we got to laugh at those moments, after all we all experience them

[Frieda P]

It's relatable, everyone has been there, both the shopping experience and meeting an old flame when you feel you're not at your best. Like the part about the rear, ha, I can definitely relate to that. Wanna see my best side, delve deeper, what you've done with this piece. Nice, I really like it LA rawr.

And ugh, his name had to be 'Tony'!

[LA Lorena]

well, his name WAS Tony. (True story)

[Frieda P]

So, they're ALL trouble...

[LA Lorena]

I don't think the name has anything to do with it, it's the gender! ;)

[Frieda P]

hahahaha

[ms. barrie]

Oh this is amazing i love the intense visual imagery of the characters and scenery you portrayed in write. For your first attempt at writing a story, this stunning! I love the well not so subtle hints of sarcasm, wit you weaved through out this write. Again, this is nothing short of being amazing. Thanks for sharing, LA Lorena! -- 100 to 100 -- Brava! :)

[LA Lorena]

thanks barrie. I'm not normally a story person......

[ms. barrie]

you welcome, LA Lorena :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hey great first attempt LL! Liked the situation as we can all relate to it. The flow was great and an easy read. The line 'The cashier did not need to change the till tape right as she was about to start my order, 'was not clear. And the ending was a little confusing as I sort of felt it should have been her regretting not having said hello and fantasising in her mind what she should have said and what he might have said back. She never spoke to him or seemingly made eye contact so it felt strange she would speak at the point of departure and he would reply?

[LA Lorena]

there was an exchange of pleasantries made. "He speaks". An implied conversation. The meaningless stuff that is always said, it all faded into the background and takes back seat to the memories. But I do hear what you are saying.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I saw he speaks as 'you' overhearing him talking to his wife, so iot was not clear it was with the protagonist.

[LA Lorena]

I hear you John. I had difficulty with this one.....it had started out as a poem, but refused to write itself as one. I just kind of let it come out and evolve naturally. LOL, actually a true story.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha! so as they say real life makes good prose. So did you overhear him or did he talk to you in real life?...tiger! And come on Manchester; footie mad folk with bad accents lol

[LA Lorena]

no, we did speak. I don't dwell on what we said, as it was never important, even back in the day. I don't think we really liked each other very much. LOL.

[LA Lorena]

Okay, took your words to heart and revised things accordingly. Does this clean it up any?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yup! now this is GOOD!

[LA Lorena]

Yes, have pleased John. All is right in the world now! WOOT!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

reminds me of a dan fogelberg song, only a much different ending...

i don't usually read the stories..but when i saw it was your first one..had to...glad i did.

quite an attention grabber...and held it, wanting to see how it ended up...


been in this situation before...caught when i wasn't at my best...ugh..didn't want an ex to see me like this.

jacob

[LA Lorena]

I had actually started out trying to write a poem, and it just wouldn't write itself that way. I gave up trying to fight it, and this is what came out.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it's quite good when pieces almost write themselves and let us be the conduits...that's a great zone to be in.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i almost find myself wanting to call you "Al" now..lol...

[LA Lorena]

LMAO! Don't you start! This kept playing out in my head as I drove to work this morning....I don't think I'm done with this yet. The srory has now been tweaked and revised a little for clarity, but there is a poem trying desperately to claw its way out.

[Sheila Kline]

This is wonderful............bravo!! This might be your first story, but I certainly hope it is not your last! You have written it in a way we can all relate to - running into someone we don't expect to ever see again, and then memories come flooding back - such passionate ones at that! The ending was terrific, love the name choice of "Tiger"...shows he still remembered too!

[DrD]

What a fun read! Wonderfully presented with every clever nuance possible. Seriously, this is great stuff.

[C.R.Turner]

Ouch! Ah well, at least your card wasn't rejected as well!

[LA Lorena]

LOL! Oh, that would have been brilliant!

[Marie]

Nice little piece--good concept. Well written.