Our World, a Work in Progress

 

 

 

 

 

Our World, A Work in Progress

 

 

 

 

 

have we become so desensitized

or are we merely rendered mute?

when atrocities are commonplace

and bullets end disputes

 

exposed are we to everything

but do we really see?

that the world's become with progress

a corrupt and lawless society

 

kindness meets suspicion

you've got to mind your back

women afraid to walk the street

without fear of an attack

 

innocent babes are slaughtered

all in the name of war

another twenty years of progress?

see what the future has in store

 

young men glorifying gang life

no lofty aspirations do they seek

afraid to raise our conscious voice

we turn collective cheek

 

unhuman kind continues

to fester, bleed and grow

the world looks on with unseeing eyes

as we harvest what we sow

 

Reviews

[Sethnicity]

Lorena! You are a woman in tune with my heART!

This write so perfect so poignant! You start with a question and end with a Report! Not only that you ended with a reference to THE GREAT e.e Cummings! OMG! I love you for this!
Thank You! Guess how many points I gave you!?

[Sethnicity]

Btw I think I am the only one who caught the e.e. Cummings reference! so.... FIRST! :)

[LA Lorena]

thank you for your kind words. As to the number you gave this write, I don't know. Anything higher than my bra size is a bonus. ;)

[Sethnicity]

OMG! HAHAHA!

[Distant horizons]

Spot on. We've made this mess and no one is gonna clean it up for us. It's amazing to think we think we're atop evolutions ladder. Maybe one day when we get it right, a big neon sign will appear in the sky, saying "CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE NOW REACHED LEVEL 2" :-)

[LA Lorena]

thank you Mr. Lorry, my dearest green friend. Yes, we really are evolved aren't we?

[Distant horizons]

:-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A wonderful real assessment of where we stand and written beautifully.

[Frieda P]

This is profound in the very least LA, it speaks such truth, and sadness. 'Turn the collective cheek' is all too common in our society. Apathy runs rampant, and people don't care about their fellow man. This read makes my heart heavy, it's extremely affecting and well written. Thank you for sharing it.

[LA Lorena]

thank you Frieda.

[LA Lorena]

Send my 5 pickles promptly please!

[Frieda P]

OMG, seriously? Who's got the kahuna's here eh? ;-)

Gladly, will send you a shitload, what kind you like gf?

[LA Lorena]

Yes, seriously. Fabian Frankie blocked this a*s! LMAO!

[LA Lorena]

and took his comments with him when he left with his head up his a*s it appears

[Frieda P]

Wow, he dealt with war but you best his a*s!! hah, now that's pretty funny, or not...

[LA Lorena]

seems he mistook the Laboutains for combat boots ;)

[Frieda P]

LMAO, how did I miss this? ;-)

[FJ Davis]

A significant piece deftly composed; basic human concerns lyrically listed.
Excellent, LA!

[LA Lorena]

thank you Franky.I appreciate your kind words. SEE? I can write poems without underwear. take that either way. the choice is yours.

[FJ Davis]

With or without your form-fitting panties, hmm--extremely hard...choice.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am sixty-two now...the idea of reaching 80 is so averse to me...i don't want to be around in 20 years...not the way things are going.

this poem bleeds truth back into the wound...of what used to be an unmarred surface...years ago.

was watching Eddie and the Cruisers last night...Wordman's idea of not being able to let go of the past...18 years later. sounds like me and the 60's...even with the bad stuff, i want to go back.

well, this poem got me reacting didn't it? i like it when a poem does that...

to me, it makes the piece successful...

jacob

[LA Lorena]

cause and effect, action and reaction. I live for it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

two things i like about you as a poet, LA--

you are a terrific writer...and you also let your readers identify with your poems in their own way...that is what makes poetry tick.

[LA Lorena]

thank you Jacob. I only seek to write as I see things, the view they take is entirely left up to the reader. It can be no other way.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i always feel that once a poet lets readers read their work...the poems belong to the readers...

[Salar Majak]

kindness meets suspicion

you've got to mind your back

women afraid to walk the street

without fear of an attack


i absolutly get what you mean. (un human kind) i know i know
will this ever end?

[KAOlmsted]

You're like a Jewish mother with this piece...pick pick pick...all you do is find fault. You don't even start by telling the world it has such a pretty face; you just get right in there with the negativity. ;-)

Nice rhymes, though.

[LA Lorena]

pretty faces can be deceiving. I like to peel the skin off them and see what lies beneath.

[KAOlmsted]

Okay. Now what?

[LA Lorena]

we either decide to open our eyes and mouths, or we sit idly by and watch it explode. we all have a choice to make. I have decided that whilst I can smell the s**t in my own backyard quite easily, my neighbours fence does not stop the stench from their pile from permeating my little world Time to lift our noses to the breeze.

[KAOlmsted]

Nicely put.