The Naughty List

Tongue in cheek.

Only two weeks left

not a hope for redemption

excuses won't cut it

my only hope? an exemption!

I try hard to be good

really I do

but when temptation is dangled

my defences are few

my intentions are good

but my body a traitor

my mind walks the tightrope

and I just pay for it later

Every year it's the same

How I try to be good

I'd be an angel, not devil

Oh, if only I could!

So I'll try not to convince you

with false words to be better

such a sexy ole Santa

won't be fooled by a letter

So I'll strike you a bargain

maybe cut you a deal

park on my rooftop

and see how naughty might feel

Now, no pressure Santa

you do what is right

but the stilletos are on

with the red lace tonight

 

Now I wait for the backlash

no condemnation I fear

all you saintly do-gooders?

He'll be a tad late this year ;)

 

 

 

Reviews

[Demetri J]

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause too, but this is ridiculous!
But anyway in all seriousness I found this funny and enjoyable...be it unorthodox to say the least, but the praise still remains. That was probably the most unusual Christmas poem I've read in a while, but hey in my arrogant opinion it was worth it

[Clayton Bardwell]

This had the feel of "Twas the night before Christmas".

Wait . . . it is, was, is "Twas the night before Christmas" for us bigger kids.

Fun!

[LA Lorena]

thanks for taking the time Clayton. Glad you enjoyed it!

[Clayton Bardwell]

;)

[Relic]

Haha, It appears the Santa I've always known growing up is about to change after leaving your roof. I saw some reviews for this and assume it was something you may have wanted to do with your husband, now I know it was a bit more sinister. haha Very well written.

[LA Lorena]

sinister? nah, not me. was just gonna let him drink his milk and get cookie crumbs in my bed is all. Purely innocent fun.

[Relic]

hahaha, Santa will never be the same again. Did I mention I have a santa suit? lol

[LA Lorena]

chocolate chip or oreos??? ;)

[Relic]

haha. After going through YOUR chimney it won't matter. ;)

[writing mojo]

This is truly brilliant and should be published by next Christmas...I love love love it..amazing measure and the rhythm is very smooth and slick with just the right amount of imagery, and the satire humor is very well cute kinky...great job!

[LA Lorena]

Thanks Mojo. Coming from a guy who is not a * RYTHYM and RHYME* fan, I consider this high praise indeed! Glad you enjoyed it, as I had fun writing that one. :)

[writing mojo]

I have learned to be appreciative of being "just" in pure talent..

[emmajoy]

CAN'T TYPE, LAUGHGING .. YOU BAD GIRL. .. BOOTTIFUL .. XX

[LA Lorena]

glad you enjoyed it. thanks for stopping on by!

[Aidz]

Ho ho ho I have a knife for that lace , a smile on my face, and that aint no toy in this stocking

And yes I wont be coming early "insert raucousness here"

Should I have used a "U" in coming??? bwahahaha

[LA Lorena]

ROFLMAO! YOU are BAD!!!

[Aidz]

why wot did I say??? oh cuming I forgot the U like in coloUr my bad lmao

[Sheila Kline]

Oh, I absolutely love it!! We need to pair our two poems and say, "NOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Ah, I love those stilletos and red lace...ooooh, la la!
Let's give those saintly do-gooders another page for their "closet books"!!
Terrific, just terrific!!! And, oooooh soooo naughty!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That was quite fun and cleaver... just remember this, you can be naughty all year round and Christmas is one day a year.

[LA Lorena]

thanks for dropping in Dale. Glad you found it amusing.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure :)

[B-poet]

This poem is very witty and funny at the same time. Very entertaining. I enjoyed reading it from start to finish. Great job. :)

[LA Lorena]

thanks for taking the time to read and comment. glad you enjoyed it.

[Jo March]

Haha brilliant - can't say I relate to your 'cravings' but really made me laugh

[LA Lorena]

glad you enjoyed it, as I had fun writing this one

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha you gals will do anything for a bloke in unifor! Made me laugh. But on a serious note if your are into fat, older, balding bearded men who live with small people and animals..................................................besides what you are offering would probably cause a cardiac arrest and then where would we all be?

[LA Lorena]

you'd all be without presents under the tree, just like me! ;) glad I could make you laugh.