The Naughty List

Tongue in cheek.

Only two weeks left

not a hope for redemption

excuses won't cut it

my only hope? an exemption!

I try hard to be good

really I do

but when temptation is dangled

my defences are few

my intentions are good

but my body a traitor

my mind walks the tightrope

and I just pay for it later

Every year it's the same

How I try to be good

I'd be an angel, not devil

Oh, if only I could!

So I'll try not to convince you

with false words to be better

such a sexy ole Santa

won't be fooled by a letter

So I'll strike you a bargain

maybe cut you a deal

park on my rooftop

and see how naughty might feel

Now, no pressure Santa

you do what is right

but the stilletos are on

with the red lace tonight

 

Now I wait for the backlash

no condemnation I fear

all you saintly do-gooders?

He'll be a tad late this year ;)

 

 

 

Reviews

[Demetri J]

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause too, but this is ridiculous!
But anyway in all seriousness I found this funny and enjoyable...be it unorthodox to say the least, but the praise still remains. That was probably the most unusual Christmas poem I've read in a while, but hey in my arrogant opinion it was worth it

[David Scott]

Sounds like Santa needs to do a little spanking... Ha
This was a very nice grown up take on kissing Santa.

[Joel M Frye]

Bringing whole new layers of meaning to the phrase, "Santa comes but once a year"....

[LA Lorena]

YOU are naughty Joel!

[Kaylor Mason]

The perks with Santa's job are really, really good this year :)

[Marie Anzalone]

Oh no someone else has discovered my trick... LOL works like a charm I tell you. This was fun... thanks!

[LA Lorena]

glad you enjoyed it!

[Marie Anzalone]

but of course :-)

[Shawna]

This is wonderful! Great write. :)

[LA Lorena]

thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it

[kimmy]

lol..this was to funny..I enjoyed reading this one..I agree I think the Santa we all knew when we were young is going to change :) lol..I love this poem.

[LA Lorena]

Thank you kimmy, I'm glad you enjoyed it and took the time to tell me so. I had fun writing it. nice to meet you!

[kimmy]

You are very welcome.. This was a very good read..lol I would have had fun too :) It is nice to meet you as well.

[Robin]

good to see someone who still believes in Santa

[LA Lorena]

Of course there is a Santa! No doubt in my mind.

[Robin Thomas]

HAHHAHAH I love It!!!

[Ed Fagan]

I have read it all now! Fantastic!

[LA Lorena]

glad you enjoyed it Ed, it was much fun to write.

[Ed Fagan]

I did! :)