Enter Moonman

A disgruntled, lonely, old space traveler is sent on his final mission

SPACE, THE DESTINATION OF DREAMERS IN THIS DAY AND AGE, BUT NOT FOR LONG. IN THE NOT-SO-DISTANT FUTURE, THE GENERAL POPULATION WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO TRAVEL INTO SPACE. THE TERM NOT-SO-DISTANT FUTURE IS, HOWEVER, USED LOOSELY, GENERAL POPULATION SPACE TRAVEL WILL OCCUR IN OVER SEVEN-HUNDRED YEARS.THE TERM GENERAL POPULATION IS ALSO USED LOOSELY, IN ORDER TO GO INTO SPACE, ONE IS REQUIRED A LEGITIMATE REASON, THE PROPER PAPERWORK, LACK OF A CRIMINAL RECORD, AND A 6 WEEK COURSE OF SPACE TRAINING WHICH IS TO BE PERFORMED(ALONG WITH THE ACT OF SENDING ONE INTO SPACE) BY THE EARTH GOVERNMENT. IN ORDER TO ESTABLISH THE DEFINITION OF LEGITIMATE, THE NARRATOR PRESENTS TO YOU AN EXCERPT OF DIALOG THAT MAY OCCUR BETWEEN A WOMAN AND A N.U.N. SPACE-OFFICIAL:

"HELLO, MA'AM." SAYS THE OFFICIAL, "HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICE TO YOU."

"WELL," SAYS THE WOMAN, "I'D LIKE TO VISIT MY HUSBAND."

"AND?"

"MAY I?"

"THAT DEPENDS."

"ON?"

"WHERE IS HE?"

"IN SPACE."

"VISITING A LOVED ONE IS AN ILLEGITIMATE REASON TO VISIT SPACE."

"THAT SUCKS, BUT THANKS ANYWAY!"

THE MOST SEASONED OF ALL THE SPACE TRAVELERS IS A MAN BY THE NAME OF Henry Von Raum. THIS IS THE STORY OF Henry's FINAL VISIT TO THE GREAT, BLACK YONDER.

---

Henry, an old man now, sat in the space cruiser, a spacecraft similar to a plane, but it was only functional in a maximum of one-fifth the gravity of Earth. He recollected his travels through space, The Entrepid Missions, oh those were fun, weren't they? Defending Earth from that big... thing... We never did find out what it was, maybe an alien of some sort... But, as he reminisced, his thoughts were interrupted by a loud siren blasting throughout the ship. He looked around, he was the only passenger on board. He tugged at the safety belt rapped around his waist, grabbing the cane floating just next to his seat as he did so. Finally freed, he shoved the cushy chair with the cane, floating towards the cockpit. He looked at the door, having stopped himself from crashing into it, searching for some sort of button of some sort. He waved his hands at the door in frustration, then it opened. He grabbed the door's lintel, using it to pull himself further into the cockpit. The two pilots, who looked strangely familiar to the old man, were staring directly forward out the cockpit's window. He also looked out the window, seeing that the ship was steadily heading towards the Moon, where Von Raum was first posted in the Defense Division of Moonbase 2-Charlie-47-6. After he was sure that the unblinking pilots were comatose, he surveyed the control panel, searching for the controls to some form of two-way communications. He swiped his hand in front of a metallic black bar that seemed odd among the switches and levers and the comm control panel flipped open, revealing a complex system of knobs and buttons. The old man pressed the biggest button on the panel that he could find and began to speak in a strained, old voice that seemed to be carved from rocks, hoarse rasps, and a flowing river of saliva, "Hello? Is there anyone there?"

A voice began, "Hello, please identify."

"Ehhh," continued Henry, "I'm Henry Von Raum. I was on my last visit to the moon before I retired, and now the ship is hurtling towards it at alarming speeds and my pilots are..." he looked at the pilots, "Incapacitated." After a few moments of silence, Henry grew impatient, "Mayday, mayday! Delta-Niner-Zero is in a heavy state of disrepair and needs assistance immediately."

"Hello, Mr. Von Raum-" a new, young-sounding voice appeared.

"Call me Henry, sonny."

"Alright, Henry, we're in hot pursuit, I just need you to talking to me, I don't care what its about, just talk. I need to just make a few adjustments to my course... Alright, ETA 20 minutes."

"Okay, keep talking? How about we start with how I'm not that big of a deal: Everyone says that I'm the greatest, most decorated member of the NUN Space Program, but... I'm just a man doing my job, I don't do it for recognition, I do it because its all I have."

"I thought you were married, sir?"

"Well, I was. Morrine died two years ago. She never liked this, me being in space for so long, that is. What's your name, kid?"

"Roger. Captain Roger C. Molodoy, sir."

"What'd I say, kid? Call me Henry."

"Sorry sir-Err, sorry, Henry." After a few moments, Roger, who's ship was now fast approaching Henry's, performed a scan of the ship, "You alright, Henry?" A beep on the screen alerted him to a crucial tidbit of information, "Henry, if you can hear me, your ship's oxygen is running critically low, I won't be able to reach you in time, you need to..." his thoughts trailed off as he watched a thick, white, man-sized and man-shaped object float out of the cruiser's main airlock.

"Hey, sonny, how's it going?" Henry yelled from inside the space suit.

Baffled, and at this point, hardly able to speak, the only reply Captain Molodoy could think of was a jumble of formal technobabble.

"Roger, I know what to do, I've been in the NUNSP for the past sixty-two years."

Roger watched, in hot pursuit, as Henry landed his suit, equipped with EVA pack and all, on the Moon's surface. "Alright, congratulations, now, I'm going to land, and you're going to board, and we're both going to leave this place."

"You know, kid. I don't think so. I'd rather just enjoy the view, maybe have a nap."

"But, Mr. Von-"

"Kid, go home, I'm sure you have a family of your own to look after. If I can tell you one thing, its to get yourself a stable job on the surface. 'Cause space? It ain't worth it. Don't argue, and don't try to land, or I'll smash my helmet in. Just go." Henry heard Roger sniffle as he turned his ship to fly away.

---

Henry Von Raum laid back resting on a pile of moon rocks he had jumbled together with a massive smile on his face. He watched the sun rise for the last time with the wreckage of the Delta-9-0 cruiser a few dozen meters ahead of him.

---

Roger C. Molodoy watched the infotainvision in his living room, reclining in his recliner sofa with his wife in his arms. The news anchor shuffled a few blank pieces of paper as the adverts ended to make it seem as if he was working, "Well, folks," he said in a gloomy voice, "It seems that space hero Henry Von Raum, the most decorated officer of his time, has died. His body was found on the Moon with the wreckage of a Delta-0-9 cruiser and two dead pilots nearby. It seems that he survived the crash, as he was in a space suit, but that he eventually died of natural causes, not of lack of survival resources."

Roger swiped his hand in the air to turn off the infotainvision, turning to his rather beautiful wife, "I love you."