Why I'm Atheist, Chapter 2

In this chapter, I decide to go over the large group's of theists in the world's beliefs

The Christian Bible: Abridged
1, Genesis In the beginning, there was darkness, then there was god, then god got lonely and made Earth, then he thought Earth was lonely and made land, then plants, then animals, then Adam, then Eve, all in the course of six days.

2, Adam & Eve Adam was made from a pile of clay, and Eve from his rib, god told them not to eat from one tree without explanation. As usual, temptation overtook them when satan, in the form of a talking snake convinced them to eat an apple, in response, god banished them.

3, Noah The world was populated by people who didn't believe in god, so he told this one guy who still had faith in him to make a big boat and to put two of every animal onto it along with his family, god made a big flood and killed everybody else.

4, Jesus(1) A virgin got pregnant and made Jesus, who would later claim to be the messiah.

5, Jesus(2) Jesus, claiming to be the messiah, convinced twelve men to follow him on his journeys to spread the word of god.

5, Jesus(3) After claiming to be the messiah, a high ranking Roman authorized Jesus' execution by crucifixion. After carrying his cross all the way up some big hill, he was crucified with two men who committed treason(it is common knowledge that he was crucified among thieves, but crucifixion was reserved for people who have committed treason against the Roman empire).

6, Jesus(4) After being crucified and dieing, Jesus came back from the dead and moved a big rock and visited those twelve guys again.
7, The End Th-th-th-that's all folks!