This Girl

I saw this girl today,
She reminds me of someone i used to know,
Shes got a sadness behind her big eyes,
and a fake smile thats been placed on her mouth.
She doesn't know who she is.
She doesnt know where she belongs.
But, she does know that there is no place to turn back.
She has memories, but refuses to call them her past.
Maybe what shes searching for is a future,
or maybe she's just searching for something that gives meaning to the point in moving on,
Something or anything that will make her feel alive.

Reviews

[Wes Guptill]

Kathryn:
With this work I think that you have a lot of emotion sitting around, waiting in the wings and disguised as potential energy. Any good physicist will tell you that potential energy is valueless without a conversion to kinetic energy. With that thought in mind, I would like to see you delve further and deeper into the foundation, the groundwork that you have laid here. I feel that you are biting back the real words that you wish to convey with this poem. As a reader (an d as a writer that reads), I have tried to pay close attention to what is going on in the shadows of any work, be it a poem, a non-fiction piece, a short story, or a novel. I try to get under the skin and in the head of the writer whose work is displayed for me, and I have done no less herein. It just seems to me that there is something more that you want to say with this one, but your own apprehensions at what others may think or say (God forbid!) is holding you back from creating an explosive, moving piece. Right now, at this review's writing, I don't so much see a completed poem, but rather I see a skeleton, a framework for something that promises so much more. Do yourself a huge service and go back after this one and just let the literary blood flow. Don't hold anything back. Just let it all go. And I am convinced that your poem will blossom and ignite. Write it again and watch to see if I'm not correct.
And if you disagree with me, then that it is your prerogative, and please do not think less of me for speaking my mind. I just cannot escape the nagging sense that you yourself are not completely satisfied with this one and that you have an awesome re-write lurking in your noodle. I have faith in your capacity.
And thank you for the friend request; I look forward to reading and reviewing (constructively, I hope) much more of your work.