please dont leave me here to die alone

im broken...

but am i really?

im weak...

will some one help me? 

im giving up... 

please dont leave me!

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

Don't give up! There is hope! Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning! Just know that trpuble don't last always! Just thought you might need some encouragement! I hpe u r feeling better now! Anyway, short but full of depair! U also might want to capitalze ur "I"'s.

[Rae]

Nice poem. With only a few words you were able to get a message across. Good job.

[SamBug]

Wow, with such a short poem you wouldn't think that it would get much of a message out. But this one....it really did. It was amazing. Great job!!!

[Jason Ellis]

Other than, in agreement with Jonathan, the fact that this poem is missing a litttleeee something, it's great.
It could definitely be the foundation for greater things.
Keep it up. (:

[Abdul Aziz]

I like this poem. It is very short, and sharp. I think it says JUST enough. Very well done!

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

this is a nice poem. clear and to the point. but i have to agree with jonathan. this poem does seem to be missing a little something. maybe if you said why the narrator is broken/weak/giving up then the poem would have a bit more substance to stand on

[Laura]

I think that it's short and to the point, which is good in this case because it says all it needs to say. I like it. It's very raw and emotional. Way to go :)

[Jonathan Ballam]

Hate to burst your bubble, but the poem is missing something.

You may need to bulk up the feelings that end in an elipse, into something refering to (or being part of) another paragraph or so.

Despite the strong feelings of desperation and emptiness in this poem, simply asking questions is about as effect as saying:
"Hello, how are you?" ..."Fine thanks" It still tells a story but gives you no evidence to believe the poem/emotions/sentiment is geniune.

Jonathan

(p.s. too much alternative punk rock is bad for you. rather listen to heavy metal, it isn't as glamorous, but it has more soul) XD

[TadKent]

Short,beautiful,raw,honest. Keep it up.

[Tia Sanchez]

You pour your emotions into your poems. Nice to read them.

Paramore ADDICT btw