dying

im dying here

im fading fast

but im not going

to let them see

me break down

and never come back

im not going to

let them see

my pain and

my fear

i will just let my wrists see it

the blood is flowing 

fast and warm and red

i cant stop it

it wont stop coming

its starting to go dark

whats happening

im dying

and fading even faster

no one is here

theyll find me later

and laugh at the sight

they always said

i should end this life.....

.... help me

Reviews

[Taylor H.]

This was a great poem. I thought the lines were a little choppy. Maybe you could make them longer or just margin them differently. Great job though

[Brandon]

this is the best poem i'v ever read
and the fact that i know its true is even better

[gimpy]

I love this poem it's rely great I rely like even as your life is ending you hide the fear and the pain the poem is rely great

[aj]

I winced at the fact that she died from slitting her wrist. The only way you can die from that is pretty much cutting to the bone. So you have a way of putting images in people's head {:
Very sad and depressing poem, but very good.

[Sam Severn]

Reading this poem helped me make it through a hard time. It reminded me that I'm not alone, even when things seem the darkest. ㋡

[r]

is this a warning sign? well at any rate nice poem...... i used to cut too and trust me you can get over it

[José Humilde]

Nice poem. I like the emotions that you give.

For the most part, I like your breaks. As I was reading, It was building up the emotion.

One suggestion. After your line about the blood flowing, your next line was, "fast and warm and red."

When I was envisioning thins happening, I saw a steady flow of blood coming. Then when I got to the line "fast and warm and red," I had to slow down a bit. I would suggest maybe taking out the "and" between "fast and warm."

Thanks for sharing,

-JH

[Krista]

This is a poem that I can relate to alot . I hope you do not mean ending your life seriously. It is not ever worth it and I should know as I have tried now 3 times.

[Mithridate]

i can feel the depth of the emotion, good job...and i hope things get better :)

[J.Black]

Pretty damn emotional, eep! I liked it.