It...

its inside of me and that fact alone scares me.
it takes over everything i have.
my mind my body my heart, my soul, my everything.
they tell me its not worth the pain it causes.
i just look at them smile and say" it doesn't hurt me".
he called me crazy because of it.
he said we could never be because of it.
all my feelings have been numbed.
i don't think they'll ever be they same.
i don't think i will either.

Author's Note

is this tooo dark?
its kinda emo but true.

Reviews

[Aussie]

It's depressing,but I like this.Good job.

[Kaelyn Shea]

thanks s.w. ... hmmm.... putting the actual reason up therew and being hated i dont think so. sorry but im already hated for it as the poem read but i don't need more hate. my life is crazy rite now i aint got no freakin highskool!

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Ms. Shea,

Don't say things are emo because in the realm of poetry there is two kinds of poems: poems that stink and poems that change. If you choose to write cynical things, that's your business and screw anyone else. I like how the poem starts out with "it." You don't address what "it" really is, so edit the story with maybe a line or two at the end to express what "it" is. And stanzas are made to help the poem flow better. Make sure you read it out loud to yourself and correct with proper capitalized letters and grammar where you can spot it. Like in the beginning "its" should be "It's" just a few things here and there. It's now that bad of a piece, just a little rough around the edges. Remove redundant words like in the third line could just be: mind, body, heart, soul. Everything. After the second line remove the period and add a colon -> ":". Colons are for listing things. And also rhyming helps it flow together. But you did a good job here. Just keep up writing. Love 'ya. Kudos. 7.9/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Kaelyn Shea]

yeah bad day when i wrote this depressed and still all this really did happen