Winter Wonderland

Walking down streets

covered in snow

watching all the animals

run and play around

 

Watching the snow flakes

hit the ground

the boys and girls

building snowmen

 

Sitting by the fire

drinking hot cocoa

snuggled up with your love

wrapped close in a blanket

 

Having snowball fights

and messing around

going on carriage rides

as it's snowing

 

Putting up a tree

setting up the Menorah

lighting the Kinara Candles

all kinds of religions

 

Kids waking up on Christmas

opening their gifts

running around and playing

so full of joy

 

It's the most wonderful time of the year

all the joy

it was built on Christ

so keep Christ in Christmas

 

For miles and miles

it's nothing but snow

cold tempatures

and singing all around

Reviews

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

Honestly, I love the winter, I just don't like being IN it. I love how pretty the snow looks when it rests on trees and when it goes untouched on the ground. It sparkles and shines like silver or a chain. It's something precious and lots of photos should be taken of it...when it arrives at least.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[Levi Levin]

I really love this. Excellent and warm.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[Levi Levin]

Your welcome :)

[Joey Johnson]

Nice job, makes me feel like winter.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[ℰmerald ⚓]

I like how you incorporated more religions into this other that just christian, which people usually do, this makes your poem unique. This also has a nice flow when you read it that creates a beautiful image, well done.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[ℰmerald ⚓]

you're very welcome.

[Aehr]

lovely description. you painted a picture here...

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[Aehr]

it was my pleasure.

[Andrew (MJ) Nugteren]

that was snowy good.
good job i love it.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[Andrew (MJ) Nugteren]

your very welcome

[Icelanna]

Very festive!
I would put in a rhyming scheme and punctuation. Pauses are very effective to create mood and to emphasize the situation but using commas and semi-colons etc. They don't let it be a constant flow which what this is at the moment. It's one huge gasp of breath to read it. Good punctuation will give it depth and make it more enjoyable. As for the rhyming scheme, usually with poems like this there is a rhyme scheme of ABAB CDCD EFEF and so on and so forth. Would give it a better flow too! If you don't want it to be one verse, then another separately then I would use enjamberment!

[Tex]

very nicely done Kymberley a very sweet homage to the season.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[Falling Leaf.]

I like how you tried to include other religions as well in this winter celebration poem, but at the same time in the second to last stanza showed clearly which religion you stand for. A couple of things: in the second stanza, boy's and girl's should be boys and girls. In the third stanza, coco should be cocoa. In the fourth stanza, you misspelled carriage. Other than that, this is a cute seasonal piece :)

[SouthernBelle]

thank you :)

[Falling Leaf.]

No problem! :D