Losing you

We sit alone

in complete slience

 

Vacant coughs

fill the air

 

There's nothing to say

we just sit and stare

 

It's been hours

since we talked

 

We've fought for days

and now it's over

 

I've cried and cried

I want to die

 

We're slowly

falling apart

 

I keep trying to hold on

but you just let go

 

We go to bed

mad at each other

 

Crying myself to sleep

so sick of fighting

 

I'm slowly losing you

you're slipping away

 

Still in slience

nothing's moving

 

You can hear me cry

but you don't care

 

I wish things were normal

wish we could be happy

 

I love you

I need you

I miss you

 

You're slowly pulling away

and I'm fading away

 

Soon I'll be just a memory

a used-to-be

 

I'm losing you

I'm losing everything

 

You're leaving me here

crying and alone

 

I've lost you

so I've lost my love

Reviews

[Mia]

This is so insane! There fighting is not bad, the moment you stop fighting that's the scary part. When you don't care to fight, when your tears don't make him feel bad. That's the point of no return...you call me a b***h and I'll forgive you because I know I pushed you there...but I couldn't get past you not caring. And I suppose once you've stopped caring it never really comes back. The 'you' is said person :)
I loved that you didn't need to use emotion to get the feel through. The situation is powerful enough that simple words were effective. This is fantastic, sad but fantastic!

[SouthernBelle]

thank you so much

[Heather]

So sad
Yet such strong words
Beautiful work

[SouthernBelle]

thank you so much

[TheLastEclipse]

Very simple but simplicity is not always bad. In this case you can tell you have been hurt and hurt poetry is usually the most popular. You have done really excellent. Congratulations 87/100

Cheers to your future endeavors.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[nishalization]

Haa.
Used to be!
Three simple words but so meaningful

[SouthernBelle]

thank you

[Hamza]

"Soon I'll be just a memory
a used-to-be"

How beautiful is that... impressive writing and this line stole the show :)

[SouthernBelle]

thank you :)

[Ella]

Wow... this is amazing. I know what it is like to feel this... painful emotion and you so clearly depicted it, it's amazing.

[SouthernBelle]

Thank you so much

[Ella]

Welcome

[andreii93]

Good poem! :)

[SouthernBelle]

Thanks

[Zachary_James]

I thought it was so very sad, and somewhat tough to read. But overall i loved it great poetic use.

[SouthernBelle]

Thank you

[Zachary_James]

You are very welcome, this is a great read.

[PaperLife]

Your words shift around the devastation leaving a trail of confusion and the wanting of more. Where it will not be had. Your words shift around like the seasons, coming and going in the right way. Breaking the pain into pieces as it broke your heart into pieces. These words are raw and painful but put well onto paper. I can feel what you're saying as you fade softly with these words, leaving and falling and delving into that world where only pain happens and the black seems to conquer all. Enveloping everything about you.

Well Done. :)

[SouthernBelle]

thank you so much

[Chesney W.]

filled with so much emotion. You loved him with all you had, and he's just gonna throw it all away over nothing. very well written. you did a nice job with this, you definately hit a homerun.
-Chesney Chey(:

[SouthernBelle]

thank you