My Escape

A girl finds herself lost in depression, loneliness, and darkness. And the only way to escape is hiding. She hides when she feels uncomfortable or just any feeling she doesn't like. She is fighting

Victoria. Innocent, lonely, beautiful. Everything that she does ends in failure. She has lost all faith and confidence. She thinks that if she hides it will bring an end to all her pain. Only for a little while. She is not the average teen who plays sports, gossips or just the "normal" teenage crap.
Victoria is depressed and lost in the darkness. She is haunted by the ghosts of her past and hides to escape them. Here is her story..

I was walking from school a cold, rainy Monday. I dreaded school for I would only be picked on and pointed out for my differences. My life was a living nightmare. People say its normal for a teenager to say that in their youth. They dont realize I'm not like normal teenagers. I'm haunted by my past, present and future. I'm depressed for everything bad in my life. Lonely for I stick out from all the kids at my school, church, home even. I'm living in a world that can't accept differences. That is afraid of different.

Today, the rain fell harder and soaked quicker. I walked slower than usual today, like a avoided ever walking into a place called "home". I feared the bell, signaling that school was out. But feared the alarm, waking me to the horror of school. It's like there wasn't a time in the day I felt "comfortable". I couldn't understand the life I had to live.

My escape was hiding. My theory was if I hide I can be left alone in my own state of mind for some peace. But they eventually stopped working. I need to get out. I needed to be alone though I fear loneliness. I need to have a world that can accept me for me, not for some people to laugh and point out that I'm wearing clothes way out of style cuz that's all I can afford. My dad is out of the picture living it up in California, while my mom is sick and keeps getting worse. I don't wish to abandon her like my father but better myself into a vibrant, confident person who can change the world. But not only change the world but change my moms world. I want to fix her to be happy and pain free!

This day was going to mark a point of history in my life. I ran. I kept running and running and never stopped. I had to run from everything in order to stay alive. I had to leave, even if it broke my moms heart from loneliness and worry. I need to figure up a plan for not only my happiness but for my mother and my future. I needed to leave the hell hole which I was being locked in forever. I ran for hours and never stopped until a car honked. It scared me for I was lost in my thoughts. I turned and looked atthe front of a state trooper car. I sighed and thought, "almost". He drove my back to my nightmare. I was tempted to tell him why I was running but that would only bring trouble for my mom. I kept silent and never looked up. I probably have spent most of my time staring down, for I thought I could never look up.

I was stuck here forever and all eternity. I was never getting out. Every attempt failed except one, which I haven't attempted. For I feared the agony I would bring my mother... Suicide. Weeks passed after that and not a day changed not even the weather. I kept thinking harder and harder on the one option I had left and I was in a state of confusion. Never had I had so much trouble on a decision. I was scared but I was more scared of never getting out. So the day came where too much happened I couldn't handle it.

I walked out of school, while it was still in hours, and walked home. My mom had passed out and wouldn't wake to a gun firing off. I ran up the 2 flights of stairs I had leading to my room. I grabbed a piece of paper, staind of course for I only had cheap paper that came that way. And wrote my story which your reading now. I went to my mothers room and dug for my fathers possessions he left behind and found his Ruger. I went to my room and sat on the edge of my bed, I loaded it and put it to the temple of my head, I said, "I'm sorry" and pulled the trigger. I wasn't found that day until my mom came looking for me, for I had been silent for the past day and a half. I regret one thing, leaving my mom in a world so cold.

I'm sorry...

Author's Note

This doesn't reflect on any person or future events. Just a dream I had about a girl...