Angel

This is what I remember-

Us, walking down streets

wrapped in midnight winter cold,

darkened storefronts reflecting

 

us, alone on the sidewalk,

the pink sky signaling snow.

Darkened storefronts reflect

the places that we stood.

 

Snow falls from the pale pink sky.

We run away from main roads,

places where we hate to stand,

our footprints lost in flurries.

 

We run away from main roads,

cling to back alley safe ways,

footsteps tossing up flurries

behind our hurried steps.

 

Always clinging to back alley ways,

you, convulsing on the pavement,

a mix of black tar and white smoke,

carving an angel into the snow.

 

You, shivering on the pavement,

eyes turned up to the pale pink sky,

a snow angel frosted over black tar-

this is what I remember.

Reviews

[char]

This is lovely. I love the picture it paints in my mind. Such beautiful imagery. I'm gonna read more! :)

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I really like the whole concept behind this piece, and you've used some really beautiful imagery to support it. Very well done.
One note - line 5, the 'us' should be capitalized.

[Kyle Kammerer]

Thanks a bunch! The 'us' not being capitalized is purposeful as it falls in the middle of a sentence that runs between stanzas. It does stand out a bit due to the rest of the stanzas ending with complete sentences. I traditionally like to avoid the common capitalization of every first word in a line, probably due to my college professor frowning on it so much.

Thanks again!