The Tall Man

Ever get that feeling you're being watched?

From the corners of any room

It lingers about

Slithering from the shadows

When the lights go out

Over your body it looms

 Staring into your dreams

As silent as it is still

Feasting on muffled screams

Lanky and thin

And curious as well

It departs as it arrived

Into the shadows it melts

If the Tall Man stops in

For a meal or for a scare

You will never wake up

And never know he was there

Author's Note

Review and rat this for me. If you review, please be specific. Tell me what you liked and didn't like about it. Did it scare you, make you feel uneasy? Be specific.

Thanks, Kyle~

Reviews

[writer in trial]

Man you scare me :D
I love this line
"It departs as it arrived
Into the shadows it melts"
I feel this creature as something reptile kinda. smooth, fast and curvy movements and that imagination scare me the most. :D
This is interesting. I loved it. I imagined this creature rolling over my body :D

[Kyle J. Lawson]

I was thinking more of a dark, slim shadowy humanoid like black mass.

[writer in trial]

my creature is slim and tall with movements like reptile who quickly vanish before you see. At the time of vanish, his shadow will quickly merge to become a single point. :D. Don't know what i'm writing :D

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Sounds similar to mine. :) Great minds think alike.

[writer in trial]

Yeah :D
tc :)
And keep posting. I think your stories can be directed for Supernatural 2 :D

[writer in trial]

Yeah :D

[Kyle J. Lawson]

They're highly based on the supernatural. It's one of the things I know best.

[Tom]

Quirky and interesting more than scary would be my opinion, though the ending was a little unsettling and concluded the poem very nicely !

Great write !

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Hey thanks, glad the ending got ya. :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Not much scares me when it comes to movies or poems i hate to tell you this haha didn't scare me at all.
Its cool you like the horror genre though, horror movies are mainly all i watch. Anywayz may not of scared me but it was a great write i loved it. The rhyming was great the story line was good and it was an interesting read.
job well done keep on writing

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Thanks, the more you know of something, the less it scares you.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

haha that makes sense.

[Kyle J. Lawson]

But I'm glad you liked it.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

yer i did :) id like to read some more poems if you can think of more

[Kyle J. Lawson]

I have two more on here.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

ill take a look :)

[Krystle Lewallen]

I haven't been afraid of the dark in 20 years, but this scared the daylight's out of me. I think that's what you were going for, right? I think I'll sleep with my flashlight tonight. Well done!

[Kyle J. Lawson]

I WAS trying to scare the reader. First make them feel a bit of childish playfulness and then strike them down with tension and fear.

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

Absolutely chilling...A phantom of the mind...
You used the end rhyme very well here. It has that sing-song feel that makes the things of nightmares and shadows even more formidable

Wonderful write
I look forward to reading more

LW

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Grazie amico!

[Aubrai]

reminds me of my childhood days when every shadow lurking around the room formed an image i was so afraid to see. and inside my head, they formed a more ambiguous image, scarier and which lingered longer. short, but concise.

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Gracias amigo!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the use of the words the tall man. Create a scary character with a interesting style to take you away. Could be a good opening poem for a good tale. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Hah, thanks. ;)

[ShelleyA]

A very good write about the Tall Man. Eerie. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy. Good imagery and descriptives. You paint a scary picture of this entity the invades from the shadows that any reader can see in their mind's eye. Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment. Rhyme is good. Good depth of feeling; your words put a scare into your readers who hate dark things that invade the night. Good closing verse. Well penned and a good read. Write on!

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Thanks a billion!

[Kyle J. Lawson]

You have one too. :)

[ShelleyA]

You're very welcome Kyle. Have a great day.

[jvava]

This is poem that is deeply-rooted in the fears of many children, and many adults as well - monsters. Creatures. The "boogie man".
I enjoyed this poem alot...it makes readers think. And, as I see in your bio that you like to think, this is a great thing to achieve in any peice, particularly a poem such as this one.
I enjoyed this alot. Good grammar; marvelously written. Keep it up! Magnificent job! :)

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Thanks so much! ^^

[Rakesh Sengupta]

I like the simplicity of language and the rhythm here. It helps to construct the supernatural atmosphere. I really like it. It captures some of our childhood fears quite well.

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Ah yes, a childish playfulness.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like this. It's kind of mysterious and spooky in a fun way. Sounds like something that would be fun to read on Halloween around the campfire. The final lines add a more serious perspective to the piece implying that meeting the tall man would be the death of the reader. I don't particularly like that aspect of the piece. I mean, if you kill off your clientele, who are you going to have left to scare? (laughing) I like my monsters more like the ones in Monsters Inc. It's a personal preference though. Well done.

[Kyle J. Lawson]

Thanks, the point was to draw the reader in with a little playfulness. And then strike them with an aspect of mortality.