Just Words

More than music.

Breath catches in my chest

Pause, relax -- in, out and repeat.

But even that fails to help

Because I still hear them.

But what are they really?

Words? Certainly not.

Mere words can’t drown me-

Submerging my entire form beneath

The most powerful tides of emotion.

They fill me, they surround me

Taking it all in in an instant would prove overwhelming,

As it is, its force of impact has left me dizzy.

But they ARE just words---aren’t they?

 

I float in my imaginations,

Elevated by depth,

Its gravity lifts me-

Or am I just fantasizing?

Another search warrant issued for my breath;

How have you done this?

Or did you?

There’s got to be something more-

Behind, inside,

Perhaps it was on your mind?

Because this wouldn’t just happen,

It can’t even!

There’s power, tons of it.

I hear it, feel it;

Uncanny in its subtlety

Subtle in its authority.

It pulls, like I were the atmosphere and it the core.

The greater my awe, the more I find it comforting.

And you tell me these are words? Just words?

Forgive me, but i find it a challenge believing.

 

Breath restored, my heart the ransom

It can be taken if you take its place.

You, your words, the difference is yet to take form

As the melody of such beauty washes over me,

Each note aimed at a precise chord on my heart strings

With keys best described as heavenly

Golden in perfection as they’re strung endlessly.

 

And here I sit,

And I listen, or I sing;

One action melts over the other like heated butter,

My senses fuse to be separated no longer

As long as you speak or sing or play on those strings…

Because they’re all mere words, unless from you they’re released.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

There's a "stream of consciousness" feel to this read. Some great lines:
I hear it, feel it;
Uncanny in its subtlety
Subtle in its authority.
It pulls, like I were the atmosphere and it the core.

I feel like this one could be tightened up a bit, for a more powerful impact. I love the last stanza - that is a poem on its own!

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Thanks Rita..i particularly like the last two myself. :) Please how do you mean 'tighten' exactly? I'd love to know...

[Rita L. Sev]

Prose poetry is tricky - it's important to keep a flow so it reads like a poem. When the stanzas/lines are long, sometimes that interferes with that poetic flow. Some of your lines read like sentences; though the imagery and emotion are great, I think you'd present more impact eliminating some words. For example:
It pulls, I am the atmosphere, it is the core.
The greater my awe, the more comfort found.

Something like that - just my opinion on prose. I really think this is an excellent piece!

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Duly noted Rita. I appreciate the counsel...alot. :)
I actually think i was trying really hard to make a rhyme scheme there. #palmonforehead. Kwiksie, kwiksie...