The third flight of the Phoenix

My travel writing

 

The flight of the phoenix

Part 3- they Kill

(Still they slay with the swords of races, casts or colors.)

A blue flower, wild born hovers

over the petite face of her.

A muddy creek remains unstirred

still-life besides them. Quite painting.

 

She may wake up any time now

and walk away in her nice rhythm.

Except she has to cross the bridge.

The bridge of death and life. Heaven!

She knows how much difficult it

can be to cross a bridge, a hedge,

a boundary, a border or

some virtual limit men draw,

cairns of race, cast or colors.   

 

The other body is of her

love, the one who had been clutching

the air, trying to call her

before senses gave away. Hung.

 

The sky is wistful. It does not

belong to earth or the men would have

separated it in segments

and flagged with colors, races, casts…

© 2008 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar

Reviews

[alternative_be]

Regretably, mankind seems to be prone to pigeonholing...
Again I agree with Ankhesen Mi�: your opening is brilliant but so is your ending of this gem.
Ending the poem with exactly the same words as your started, makes the message coming across even more strongly.
I have one question though: do you mean quite painting or quiet painting because both expressions are possible in this context!
I cannot but repeat that I love your multi layered thinking and extremely original imagenary! I just love seeing read requests from you!

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Love the imagery here. Very good. Great write!

[ekkojohnny]

I had the picture in my head immediately. Great layout.

[Helena]

Wonderful series of the flight of the phoenix you have painted here. Much enjoyed my friend!
Deep with awesome description throughout. Much thought has gone into this imaginative
and unique poem.

Pen on!

~ Helena :)

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

This is quite good. I found myself pictured myself within the words. Well done

[Bhavya Kaushik]

What I liked most about is the way you have ended it with the same words as you started with the poem.
The idea is just brilliant in it and forces the reader to deeply think about it.
Great work.

[Ankhesen Mié]

"(Still they slay with the swords of races, casts or colors.)
A blue flower, wild born hovers
over the petite face of her."

Your opening is brilliant once again. That first line really caught my attention, the subsequent attention maintained it.

[charlotte talley]

This is a beautiful and meaning ful poem. I agree with Judy when she said that it can be interpretate in different ways to different people. Good write.

[JudyC]

This poem is a wonderful reading experience, because although it is rich with detail, it leaves room for the reader's interpretation. "The bridge" and "her love" can mean different things to different readers. I love the last four lines. A beautiful write!

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

This poem if profound,
I wonder if this female protagonist is the city,
or a female you saw,
or an art exhibition you saw there,
the realms are endless, grreat work!
---mishel... :P