Then,he was within..

 

Then he was within

( to Kimberly and Bhawana and Janet)

The house used to quiver

whenever a train passed it.

The red eyed lantern became

green alike her face. “Don’t bite

your lips. Don’t bite the lips.”

She was not seeing the face

of the silhouette woman .

So he, still a child in womb

had no memory of a

woman, elderly, eager

to help with the birth. To her

it might be another one.

Still she was eager. A man

barred from the entry was in

his half duty sitting by

his teleprinter. Next train

was at 10 o’ clock. By then

an old man with shaking hands

should cut the cord. Like a drop of

rain he came. Fresh and playful. © 2008 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar

Reviews

[alternative_be]

This is lovely...
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to return to the safety of the womb. I pity the father in your poem banned from attending the birth of his son.
For me it was easy to relate to your poem, because I am currently preparing a book about my early childhood, including my birth, so this was very interesting and moving read for me.
Thank you for sending me this read request!
You are getting better and better!

[Lyrical Love]

This reminds me of my Mom's house with the train roaring through.
You tend to pull your reader into the scene and once there it is easy to become
engaged in your vivid images.

[Helena]

Beautifully done my friend. Full of the excitment of imminent birth portrayed
so insightfully and delightfully here in your poem.

A great read!

~ Helena ~

[Poeticpiers]

this reminds me of my young days I lived beside a railway track every ten minutes a train would pass. You mark well the birth of a child Fresh as a drop of rainThe whole presented in descriptive poetic prose

[George Love]

An excellent work, full of images and emotions which get deeply into the soul