aftermath of an accident

Aftermath of an accident

 

The subsided men, how was it to be

That close to death? The snub of light through it,

 The bitter dark water’s fatal embrace

Tightening right to the end. Sheer wastage.

The salt that eyes let mingle with the creek.

How the desperate cries of you, choked the

Anger treasured in minds or desire

Of hopes, premature even to their hearts.

The cold beds of a morgue   and the hubbub

And aftermath on the accident did they

Care even iota of it? Their eyes

 Frozen in terror never answered them.

Reviews

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Nicely done on this great realistic piece. One of youer best.

Terrific.

[Travis Lawrence]

Terrific poem. Strong language does it justice. I love the last line, where their eyes are frozen in terror. That's so well said, as is the entire poem.

"The salt that eyes let mingle with the creek."
-- This line stuck out to me, I love it even though I'm not entirely sure what it's doing.

Thanks so much for sharing!

-Travis

[alternative_be]

A few days ago, one of our best loved soccer players died in a car crash. For he was a really well liked character, I can relate really well to your poem. If only we could be in contact with the dead, just to know whether they still can see us, specially if there is not any occassion to say good bye to a loved one before they die. Some deaths are sheer wastage, specially accidental deaths of young healthy people. One of our journalists wrote a poem about the soccer player not being able to believe he has died and keeping on asking for football and the next training, where the field has gone, where the supporters have gone and the celebrations, wondering and wandering where he is, for he himself does not realize that he is no more... I find this perspective from the dead in this work ... very well done!

[Carrie Montgomery]

I agree with George Love that is harsh and realistic...
some humans have the tendancy to be macabre, in curiosity after an accident/death. Often it seems people relish in the fact someone's life was brutally ended...but I think deep down it is relief that they are looking at the end of someone else's life and not their own. They are thinking of all the things they should do or say before this is their own fate.
"The salt that eyes let mingle with the creek." this line stands out to me...the salt of the eyes (tears) ...mingle with the creek ( the over flowing sadness of others- past and present; a river of tears shed from pain and heartache of generation after generation)

[George Love]

Harsh, but very realistic. Well done!