A summer of the bird

A summer of the bird

 

Like the bird the next door neighbor

Has left in your care

During their vacation

And you have fallen in love with,

Summer months of long nothing

Is chirping to a sad tone.

The knowledge of whys and wheres

Does not answer the sweet bitterness.

The unfinished best seller with its dog-ears,

 Paint brushes and unfinished rambles,

Found and lost showcase of path to the kingdom…

 

You still wait for the anxious moment

To return the summer bird

To someone who own it.

 

Reviews

[Dani California]

I often read things that were not intended by the author, but that is the beauty of poetry I suppose, we all find or read something different.

I read a summer romance that was coming to an end and when the time drew near, and the last stanza was calling out -- just go! Get it over with!

I like the bird metaphor. It flowed nicely... great imagery. This is a great piece of work!

[Ken Simm.]

Simply lovely.

[Emily B]

I pictured a little boy loosed on the world with his pencils and crayons and his love of the bird that flies free above. It was a pretty picture. A snapshot of lovely moments apart from the rest of life.

[None]

I think any time would be too long with watching someone's bird! I love the imagery here and the way you wrote this. Very soothing and expressive.

[TL Boehm]

Yes, I too had the sense of summer dreams - days of enjoying certain freedoms coming to an end....like songbird notes....well done.

[George Love]

The end of summer with romance as well?? Well done!

[Louise Whalen]

This poem has a really good base, but it could be extended upon. More concrete imagery would be nice. Elaborate on the bird! I want to know more. =]

Also, I think you maybe should separate the bird metaphor and the description of "summer months of long nothing" into separate paragraphs [separate "Is chirping to a sad tone./ ---> (new paragraph)The knowledge of whys and wheres"]. Or, just combine the last stanza with the first long one. I think it might have better flow that way. I think it also might be fun to play around with capitalization, instead of capitalizing every beginning word.

Good images for the summer of nothing, the dog ears of pages, the paintbrushes, etc.

Just wondering, what did you mean by these following lines:

"The knowledge of whys and wheres
Does not answer the sweet bitterness."

and

"Found and lost showcase of path to the kingdom�"

Forgive my ignorance. =]

[Carrie Montgomery]

"The knowledge of whys and wheres

Does not answer the sweet bitterness" how very true!

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

nice metaphors, flowed nicely with great imagery. wonderfully written. good job.

[Drea]

I like the descriptive of the dog eared unfinished best seller and the paint brushed rambles. It gives that sense of suspended time that summer brings in youth. When classes are out and time is left open to linger upon thoughts, dreams, discussions, discovery. When it seems you might fit in the greatest personal growth or that summer romance.
The bird of summer flies in and departs all too swiftly but her song is lovely and we wait for her return each year.

[Cece]

i feel something much deeper
much more deeper than a caretaker
feel a soul as a metaphor of a bird

is it the caretaking of a soul
oops dipped too far
can see the featured review

now i am tainted now
words cant come truly from my heart
but it is true someone else sees it

someone else sees you
sees though your veneer
unmistakable some of your best