Moon on the rearview mirror{ assassin}

Moon on the rear view mirror (assassin)

         *****************************

 

Moon on the rear view mirror

Chasing the assassin’s speeding

Chariot. Adjust the glass-view,

Close your eyes for a while, still the

Moon is just behind your car.

An expert agent, moon shadowing

The assassin, still dipping in

Deaths of innocents, unawares.

Take a turn and fancy loosing

Him behind till his sarcastic

Grin illuminates the mirror.

The assassin moves to mop brow

He thinks of the screams rising from

The arson in a slam, he thinks

The shouting smells of burnt bodies.

Hands do not quiver on steering,

Only moon on a steady chase

And fog spreads on the obscure path.

 

A scream so secret, like a drop of dew

On a pool of oblivion, rises

From the deep throat of a crime not so old.

 

Reviews

[Alice Bliss]

An image I love is that of the moon's "sarcastic grin" illuminating the mirror. A crescent moon does seem to grin like it's laughing at us Earthlings. You convey the sense of the assassin's desperation to flee well. He's driving just to get away from a crime at first, but then he starts to feel like he's driving to get away from the moon. The last three lines are beautiful but they don't really flow with the rest of the poem. I think you should end with the image of fog spreading across his obscure path, and fit in the "A scream so secret..." part in earlier when he's thinking about his crimes. Just a thought!

[Wildfleour]

Wow..........I will have to reread this over and over again......

[TL Boehm]

wow, for all its lush verbiage and vivid imagery - this one is stark, surreal and chilling in its message. Nicely done.

[lori c]

does he fancy that the "man in the moon" saw what crime he committed ? or has the insanity of the deed left him a bit paranoid.? either way the image of someone frantically trying to outdrive the moon is fantastic. again, a simple unobserved act, given voice through your pen. guilt ? a conscience ? i am thinking more than the moon he is trying to escape from. perhaps even the secret scream echoing in his ears. i did have to read this one several times before it "spoke" to me--definately worth the time.

[R J Askew]

Maybe the moon will haunt him and drive him mad, and then to doom...he drives faster, faster, rips the mirror from above his head...then sees the moon reflecting on a lake, is distracted, swerves from the road, and plunges too his doom...he screams in his air bubble in the car as it sinks lower and lower in the water which extinguishes his evil fire. Cracking poem!

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

Guilt? an intresting piece, I percieed this as someone trying to espace there past? Mmmm....running in the night to forget whateer crime they have done. A intresting piece.

[Touché Armada]

It's been too long since I stopped by.. This is great.. really, the imagery it conjures up is sooo good.
I imagine the assassin to be the sun, speeding in its chariot across the sky... Haha the moon chasing Ra. Very good write indeed.

[JC Fox]

Another great piece, you are getting much better each time you write!

[Legion]

I like the imagery in this. Not quite sure if I get the idea of the moon chasing him. Love the idea though. Kudos.

[Emily B]

Reminiscent of Poe's "The Tell-tale Heart". The narrator's guilt follows him away from his crime. Chasing him like a pack of wolves while he looks in his rearview mirror aware of the seeming predator. This is a dark and sinister write. WOnderful stuff.