war and pieces of peace

 

 

War and pieces of peace

Dropping parachutes on a land of white jasmines

The fingers tightening the grips on fatal arms,

They do not dare to whisper for the fear

Of detection, of death and of noncompliance.

The pasture of tickling verdant, amused, happy…

The grass grabs knees, flowered resistance at their feet.

An obscure cannon has lost its grave potency.

How far will they go, asks a colored creature of

An earth belongs to life, dream and natural death

Whispering neutrally in calm ears of beings.

The troopers are moving with steps full of fear

Only to become consumed in the shadows of

A landscape of white jasmines… 

           

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

The return to the white jasmines is a very nice touch. The use of verb tenses gives the poem a paradoxically passive feel, which is underscored by the use of "neutrally" in the tenth line--an interesting but effective tack in a war-related poem. There is a very high level of craftsmanship here; it's a very nice piece of writing.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Awesome write.
I loved the ending lines a lot, its quite sad but though its true!

And brilliant usage of metaphor at few places...And this one also gives a great sense of visualization on reading.
A superb write :)

[Kasey Klein]

I love the round, ending where you start. Heartbreaking.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

vivid imagery. truely enjoyed this.


Great Write,

[Steffi]

Really vivid imagery.
You painted a really good image that made this piece really well written
:D Good Write

[Cece]

i visualize the white unfurled chutes
as a fearful soldier is approaching
his destiny dangling from a canopy

imagery is great. fear i hear
is more of getting the job done
no matter the outcome