throbbing twilight

Throbbing twilight

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A throb is coming alive,

It faces the cracked mirror,

And dares the reflection.

Jaded image speaks the tongue

Of an alien invader.

A throb makes me ignore you.

Light and darkness seems alike

Beneath the panes flows a creek.

There rises the body of

Touch me not twilight, still born!

A throb! Oh a throbbing twilight!

                       

 

( and then her innocent palm

touches my temple and thousand

sun is born to allay pains.)  

 

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

I like the line breaks, making lines like these interesting:

"There rises the body of
Touch me not twilight, still born!"

No puncuation, but seemingly there is discontinuity between them, or perhaps not. It makes me ponder...

[E. M. Murren]

Another breathtaking work. The peace offered by a loving hand truly brings this poem calm to end it with. Cheers.

[None]

I like your different words and your incredible usage of them. Don't try to hard to be like us, you have gifts we could only dream of. A wonderful poem and idea!

[JC Fox]

I like this piece as well, great job and I do see an improvement with your poems, awesome job.

[R J Askew]

I really like this quirky little throbber! OK your lady is standing close by, a gently romancit mood overcomes you, perhaps to your surprise I sense, and voila...throb! I like the cheeky throb daring the reflection! 'Touch-me-not-twilight' is a delightful turn of phrase. Does it mean a fading romance???

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Keep this up, you are getting better and better my friend. Wonderfully written, nicely done.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Ah, and the pain is splintered away...nice, succinct write with vivid imagery throughout. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Good job. Keep at it, camper!

-Gabe

[lori c]

first of all, i really like the title of this. in two words you have captured a painful ache, growing darker. the cracked mirror that dares the reflection, dares it to feel...stillborn emotions, whole but not breathing, until the touch, like the touch of a great healer, imparts breath, giving life a chance. these images flow together taking this to the surface below what we show to others. well done.

[Legion]

they have a way of doing that don't they? :)