look up at the sky

look up at the sky

 

This time of the afternoon

She has to jump down

From her verandah.

Each and every day.

A fatal cloud on the sun.

 

Her doctor reminds her of

The lovely husband,

The small love island,

The pet named Henry.

 Still her sun sets early

 

On a mossy verandah.

That was made before

Her father was born.

Each and every day.

A fatal cloud on the sun.

 

Lady, look up at the sky…

 

Reviews

[Leah Maldonado]

wow...this is so beautiful...

its got that melancoly feeling captured so perfectly..
A fatal cloud on the sun.
great line

and the ending too, it was very seet and thats what spinned into being a little happy along with the whole sad things who had going on in the beginning ish.

really likes this
Leah

[ekkojohnny]

so much said. Leaves so many thoughts to ponder. This is great.

[Wildfleour]

Wow - this poem stirred my soul. You have an incredible way with words.

[T. R. Writer]

This is very lovely and touching. You really have a knack for saying a lot in very few words. I'm working on that. I want to be like you :)

[jen -- JG]

Everyone sees different things a poem. To me this says that this person is suffering a deep grief and the verandah is a part of that - possiblly even the fatal cloud on the sun that she can't see beyond. She is locked inside her own special place and can not see beyond it.

The final line " Lady, look up at the sky�" tells me someone cares enough to try to help her look beyond the clouds to the sky.

More questions than answers, open to lots of interpretations and a damn good write

Well done

Jen-JG

[ganymeder]

Lovely poem, sad but sweet.

[JC Fox]

I love the visuals in this poem, great job!

[Carrie Montgomery]

"Lady, look up at the sky..."
perfect ending.

[lori c]

,,,a fatal cloud on the sun,,,what a great line. there is always that cloud attempting to block our sunshine. but i think its deeper than that...shes so sad, so very sad this lady of yours. and there's the verandah waiting ... i hope she does indeed look up at the sky and well, .... i like this one. i sense the sadness in her memories and her wanting to look up but somehow, she's afraid... nicely done.

[George Love]

Your style is unmistakable. Well written work

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Interesting piece. What is the deal with that particular cloud? Why did it have to spoil a perfectly good afternoon? How cruel and insensitive!