Lamentations of an Admirer

You're beautiful, didn't you know that? Sometimes, when we can finally say what we need to, it's much too late.

Lamentations of an Admirer

 

You're beautiful, you know.

What can I say? I'm a romantic, and I can appreciate these things. I think it's beautiful the way you smile-- not quite a smile, to be sure, but a smirk filled with a mischievous glint to it. You light the room up with it, you know.

You're beautiful, you know.

No, not cute, or pretty. Not hot, not sexy. Not any of those shallow words that do you no justice. You're beautiful. Beautiful. Do you know what that means? Don't worry, neither do I. It's a word that has lost it's meaning thirteen forevers ago... I just know you're beautiful, somehow, and don't ask me why.

You're beautiful, you know.

The way you dance through life, the way you make me giddy just by looking at you. It's infectious, that smile, that feeling.

You're beautiful, you know.

I've never heard your voice, but I've heard your laugh. I don't recognize it. It's not like the laughs you hear all the time, forced and polite... it's real, it's whole. It breaks past the barrier of noise around you, breaks through to me... but it's not mine, ...

You're beautiful, you know.

I wonder if they realize it. Your parents. Your family. Your friends. Your boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks that, that you're not just cute, and funny, and talented... but that you're so much more.

You're beautiful, you know.

The way you shine. It's almost radiant. I'm scared that if I get too close it'll blind me. Call me a coward, I deserve that. But, you know, beauty is best beheld from afar...

You're beautiful, you know.

Is it even you? Is the person I see the as the person that's underneath? Or is beauty just deceitful, like everything else in life?

No, it's not you. It's a part of you, but it's not you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, someone said. Well, they missed something. Beauty is in the eye of the ignorant beholder. Someone who can't see past what you appear to be, someone who doesn't know any better. Beauty isn't just beheld best from afar-- it can only be seen from afar.

You're beautiful, you know.

I'm scared, scared that if I get too close, you may not be so beautiful anymore. It's stupid, I know, because beauty isn't real, and you can't lose what you don't have... right?

You're beautiful, you know.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if one thing would've changed? Just one thing. I do, all the time. Like, what if, you know? What if we'd met when everything was different, before all of this? I'd gladly exchange someone in my past for you-- the friends who crowded me back then just left. Would you? I wouldn't, I'd never leave.

You're beautiful.

Do you even know? Do you even know that you are? Do you look in the mirror and think it? Does it bubble up from inside you and leave your lips? It should.

You're beautiful, did you know that?

When it happened, did you know? I saw the news-- a fatal car accident, like so many others... One fatality, one injury. He survived, but you didn't. I wonder... if I'd told you what you were, would you have been there? Could I have saved you? Could I have at least made you smile...?

You were beautiful.

The way you danced through life, the way your smile lit up the room, the way your laugh seemed like it was mine, when it wasn't. You were beautiful, the most beautiful ever. I missed the chance to tell you... and it makes all the difference.

You were beautiful, and now you're gone... and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. And I'll just have to live with that, won't I?

You were beautiful, I can tell you that now. Remember, and never forget.