1- Self Correction

The first chapter and introduction. In this chapter you'll meet a few characters and learn how things work.

1-Self Correction

 

           

 

            It all started with a notebook. Well, maybe not a notebook, but rather what was written in it- no, what I had written in it. Ok, so starting the story like this, well I can’t find the words to explain it, so let me jump right in.

            The air was cold, almost freezing, according to the notebook- or rather according to my mind. I remember the snow slowly drifting downward, my gloved hands reaching for the pure flakes. Then all the sudden-black. I knew for sure that snow isn’t black, but white, so what was this? My feet spun as I twirled around, just to see a boy, about three years older than I was at that time, so maybe around twelve? No, that sounds wrong, he was older, about five years older than me, so that’s make him around fourteen. Yeah, that was probably it. He was probably fourteen.

His face was colored by the dark hue. It was then he looked down at me, smiling. I was a bit terrified at first, as his face was daubed in the blackness, along with his clothes, but I returned the smile, and it seemed as if warmth radiated off both of us.

Ok, so that’s how the memory went. I know, it’s not exactly wonderful, and I’m aware that to you, right now, it’s probably confusing you. Soon, or at least by the end of the story, you’ll learn more about this memory, my only significant memory, and you’ll also know more about this notebook I possess. You see, in that notebook I write my memories. About now I’m guessing you’re thinking like a diary or something, where I write about what happened each day. No, it’s not like that. In this notebook I only write certain, important memories. Now, with all that said, let’s move on, to the real story.

I sighed and closed my notebook. Why was that the only thing I could remember? Plus, why was it so confusing? I can’t ever recall seeing that face other than in my memory.

Then I stood up, trying to forget my only memory. Kind of ironic, huh? I smoothed my blue skirt and then looked around. For an orphanage this place sure looked gloomy. Yea, I’m an orphan- got a problem with that?

Either way, I still couldn’t shake this place’s appearance. The halls were dark and the only light source was candle light. Trust me; candle light isn’t a good source of light. The lights flicker and it always looks somber.

Also, no windows. I could hardly remember what it looked like outside. I guess it didn’t matter, as I didn’t really need to know what the outdoors looked like. That was simply trivial.

Now I’ll start getting back on track. As I stood up, my hands automatically fell to my sides, my hands still clenching onto the green notebook. It was then that I walked to the orphanage’s library, as usual. I went there every day and have read almost every book in there. I know, it makes me sound like a nerd, but it’s better to be informed than clueless.

Once I arrived I set my notebook down and spotted a stack of folders. I decided to check it out. There aren’t many files around; most of the library is just books, so I had to read this while I had the chance.

I sat down at one of the tables and opened up the tan folder, flipping through its tabs. It looked like some sort of research- no, some kind of zoology report.

After skimming through the report I began to read through it. It contained fascinating theories about animal anatomy and other related things. It also suggested there was still a bit of land to be discovered, which I found interesting. In the last page of the research there was also a map. I looked around; making sure nobody was looking, and ripped out the map, stuffing it in my skirt pocket. I could remember written words well, but defiantly not a map, so it couldn’t hurt to keep it just in case, right? I really wanted a good look at this too.

            Then I heard the door creak open, and spun my head around to see who it was. I guess I should’ve expected this, but it was my friend, Aiden. He was my only other friend that was my age. We were both sixteen, or at least I think. We weren’t sure of what day it was, and I’m not sure on which day is my birthday. I think it’s in one of the later months, but I don’t know for sure. Anyways, point is, we were around the same age.

            “Hey Kurai!” He called, his emerald green eyes, or rather eye, as his hair covered one of them, looking in my direction. I cursed under my breath. Sure, seeing Aiden was always fun but there were two problems here: 1. I really felt like reading through this report, and he’d tell me to stop being boring and spend time with him if I continued to read it. 2. Wherever he went, she would soon be there.

Just as expected a little girl, her brown hair tied up in piggy-tails, skipped in the room and instantly clung onto Aiden. I swear sometimes it seemed as if they were one person. I know Aiden wouldn’t actually consider liking the girl in that way, as they were about seven or eight years apart, but it was still annoying.

She giggled and smiled, and he returned the favor, smiling back at her. It was that, the fact that he treated her like she was the most important person to him, which annoyed me most about them. It just pissed me off so much there were hardly words for it.

Anyways, back to what was happening. Quickly I set the files down, dropping them right into a plotted plant. I know, not the best hiding spot but good enough, as there weren’t any other place I could think of. Wait, when I went to pick it up, wouldn’t the thorns pretty much destroy my hand? Oh well, I wasn’t worried about that at the moment. What I was worried about now was making sure nobody had seen that, except Aiden, I’m sure he’d understand.

Aiden walked over to me after patting the girl’s head a few times. I clenched my fists a bit, but he didn’t seem to notice. That was always the way he showed affection. Anybody that received a head-pat from him deserved it. Then again, now that I think, pat might not be the right word, so I’ll explain. Aiden’s “head-pats” are when he puts his hand on your head and kind of rub it around a bit and pat it too. I guess pat isn’t the right word, but we’ll just use that for now.

“Hey.” I replied. It had been a while since he greeted me, but he knew that he should be lucky he even got an answer. I’m a bit soft-spoken, but that’s only because I haven’t had a reason not to be. If I wanted to I could be the most talkative person in the world, rambling on and on about trivial matter and stating remarkable facts, but seeing as how I find those people a bit annoying, I avoid become one of those people myself.

Then he smiled at me and patted my head. The same way he patted that damn girl’s head. I was happy and pissed off at the same time. It was nice, him showing his affection like this, and the head pats really calmed me and made me happy in general, but how dare he touch me with the same hand that touched that girl.

Then she tugged on his hand. “Aiden let’s go play in the gym.” She said, her voice high-pitched and well, I hate to admit this, but it was kind of cute. Of course admitting this to myself only pissed me off even more.

  “Well, I’m going to take Ella to the gym then. Want to come with us?” He asked, his eye(s) still gazing at me. Even though she’d be there, I couldn’t really turn him down. I knew if I did he’d annoy me and get me to go anyways. Plus I just enjoyed being with him. I guess there really wasn’t another answer to his question.

I nodded and stood up. Again I had to travel through that glum, melancholic hallway. Oh, and by the way, if you were wondering, yes, I still am carrying my notebook around with me. I take it everywhere I go, so just kind of expect me to have it from now on.

Finally we reached the gym, after a few minutes of Aiden and Ella holding hands and smiling. I really didn’t understand what made me so mad, so frustrated. I could care less if he ended up with Ella or not. Well then again that’d be pretty weird, since she’s only about eight or nine, and Aiden’s about sixteen. Even more than three years was considered a big difference so a seven or eight year difference, well they’d be highly frowned upon if they were a couple. Anyways, none of this mattered. I didn’t even like Aiden. I guess the reason I’m mad is well, she’s annoying. I like Aiden as a friend so of course I’m around him a lot. She just gets in the way and I guess that’s what ticks me off so much.

Once there I sat down, leaning against the wall, reading the few lines in my notebook while Aiden and Ms. Clingy threw a ball back and forth. I never really could find out what was so fun about that. Anyways, after a few hours of watching the couple play it was time for lunch.

We all walked down to the dining hall and grabbed a plate of mush and a glass of what was supposed to be some kind of juice. I sighed and poked at my food, occasionally swallowing a spoonful of it then gagging, feeling like I was about to roll over and die. I also gulped down the juice. With about half of a plate left of the mush I excused myself and went back to the library.

I sighed once getting there. I really should’ve thought before sticking the report in the plant. I pushed my hands through the weaving green vines, armed with thorns, and watched as the blackness covered my hand and even started dripping down my fingers a bit. Cuts and scratches all covered my hand. I winced as more black trickled down. I cursed under my breath. It hurt, but I didn’t want to leave the report. Soon somebody would notice my hand and I’d become noticeable, and then somebody would spot the report. Finally I got it out. This time I stuck the folder under the pot. Not an ideal hiding spot but it’s all I had. I was running out of time, the pain getting harder and harder to bear. I couldn’t risk getting noticed really, because I knew I’d get in trouble for hiding that report.

As I walked to the healing room my hand throbbed and more and black just came seeping from the wounds. A few other orphans asked if I was ok, but I just kept walking, in too much pain to answer. I don’t get how there are stories of people getting stabbed or shot and recovering. I knew this pain would last a few more days, so I couldn’t even imagine how long people who got stabbed or shot would be in pain. I looked around the hallway. At every corner, like usual, stood a guard, but none of them asked me if I was ok. It seemed like none of them cared. I shrugged it off. It’s not like I cared about them, so I couldn’t expect the same I guess.

Then I finally arrived and one of the healers wrapped my hand in gauze and handed me a bit of pain killing medicine. I didn’t waste time standing there and taking it, but instead I swallowed the pills on my way back from the healing room. The pills slipped down nice and easy and after a few minutes the pain kept lessening and lessening. I smiled and then opened the big wooden doors of the library. It was only a matter of minutes until I could read the report thoroughly.

I rushed back to the pot and made sure nobody was watching me. Then I took the report from its hiding spot and sat back down. Now I read it through fully. It was a good, detailed report with many theories and diagrams, making it a nice work of art. Apparently there was an undiscovered place, and there would probably be undiscovered animals. Now I have never seen any animals up close. Well, ok that’s a lie, but I haven’t seen much. All I’ve seen that I can remember is this cute, fluffy thing called a bunny. I know; good description right? It had a ball of fur as a tail and its ears matched the ones the hung in front of my face, the ones that connected to my headband. I forget where I got the bunny ears, I just picked them up one day and I’ve worn them ever since.

I got up, leaving the report on the desk. I wanted to hide it but if anybody found out I hid it I’d be punished, so I left it there. It’s always a shame, the end of an interesting book. Even the end of a well-written chapter can leave you feeling disappointed.

Well actually, I find the end of a chapter disappointing no matter what. It’s always such a pain, the chapter ending. It’s also a pain, having to keep correcting myself.

Author's Note

Ignore fragments. What do you think of the ending and all around writing? Should I add more detail or will that slow the pace too much?

Reviews

[Nickle]

hey Kurai....i havent finished reading the chapter yet but i already have some things to say...

i was wondering what the main plot of the story was and how old the main character is

umm...as for pointers i just have to say watch out for the way you make things flow when you go back from her thought process to the actual story...also im not 100% sure as to what the character is fully like but she seems like she is a gloomy person so if ur story lacks emotion because of the main character's personality then i would try to liven it up with livid detail...just make sure that when you do you make the detail flow so it doesnt slow the pace down but so far rlly good start and i was suprised by the tone of your story...in a good way that is...anyways i'll finish reading the chapter and writing the rest of my review soon :)

[Samurai]

I agree with Nickle, you should make your writing flow :) I also feel you need to be more descriptive.
BUT, I love how Kurai (your character) seems very honest.
(hehe I also know some japanese and laughed when you named your character Kurai.....for people who are reading this comment kurai means dark)

[Cassandra D.]

The detail, please. I suggest you add just a bit more of how things look like and what the character is doing.
But this was a very interesting read.