She's Not Perfect, But Who Is?

A Story by Kura

Magical things pertaining to a person in my life who I love very much.

She has the stars in her eyes, but also the darkness of a black hole.
Some days, she burns bright, and others, she falls dim.
Her glass isn't shattered, just simply cracked.
Not something to be fixed, because she isn't broken, just bruised.

I wish I could be the one to fill in the bad bits sometimes. She's gone through so much and I've only been here a small fraction of her current life. I want to keep her away from all of the people that have wronged her and nearly broke her. I don't want her to be hurt by another person as careless as the others. I don't want to see the day the crack becomes a shatter. I don't want to see the day where she needs to be fixed.

Sometimes, I'm content knowing that I'll never be the one to fill that space. I'm too afraid that I'd become like the others. Not to mention I don't want to force her into anything just because I might like her and she doesn't. I don't mind. Sometimes it feels like there's a sinkhole in my chest, growing with each moment of loneliness, but I don't mind. I'd rather drown on my own than bring someone down with me. As long as she is happy, I don't care what state of loneliness I might be in, she deserves all of the good things this world can give and so much more.

Our friends think we're dating secretly. One of them keeps asking if we're together yet, if I've ever had a crush on her, if I would date her if the opportunity arises. I have to lie to them each time, except for the first.

Yes, I've entertained the idea of what I'm feeling being a bit more than a friendship. Yes, I agree that it is more. No, I won't say anything except for "no". I would date her, yes. But only if she were the one to come to me. I don't want to force it upon her in any way, so I'll wait for the day that might never come.

But I don't mind. Sometimes you gotta go through a span of loneliness to find the person that won't fix you, but help you along. Because you aren't broken, just battered down.