Why do this pattern of feelings come back?

I am feeling odd.
Talked to a friend and nod.
That she has someone she loved
But she is not what I sought.
I am but a humble secretary,
but I can be a great help of thee.
No I don't need a salary,
because I do this humbly.

When I met this another woman,
she I sought only to require.
Require a bit of information,
That is only I desire.
To complete the missing details,
about her and documentation.
Little did I know one night entails,
talked day and day then turned to
admiration.

Her man is Stephenson.
I am but nobody, not even a pension.
This is not love I in my situation,
but rather just an infatuation.
Those silly comments and great conversation,
slowly piling up planning a mansion.
But this mansion had no foundation.
This mansion didn't even undergo introduction.
It's just a whim meeting in certain location,
to simply hangout and have collection.

Now that I confirmed his man is Stephenson,
I plan to distance.
To give myself a good reflection,
a time of avoiding disturbance.
Both them and me, just to settle my feelings.
Because now I can't believe that I liked her.
Expressing this out, padiii I like you for few things.
You're mostly honest, determined, and talkative.
But we only knew for a few moments,
though I enjoyed our conversation.

I'm just gonna distance,
Because I'm feeling a bit strange.
It's either broken hearted,
or just emotionally challenged.
Or perhaps it's due to infatuation,
Without ever expressing for a change.
May this feeling end quick,
Because I went a terrible experience.
Failed love, everlasting patterns of ache.
For a day, a week, or so I won't glance.
That man that I said that liked you,
it was me all along, I'll waste my chance.
To settle for a moment,
To avoid foolish romance.