What to thank you?

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What to thank you? Dear creator....

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Let me start with my life. I thank you for I was born. I thank you I get to see well. I thank you I get to taste. I thank you I get to hear songs and music. I thank you I get to breathe. I thank you I get to feel both on my hands and in my heart. With this being established, I am thankful.

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Remembering my FIRSTS...

I don't remember much when and how my first step begins, but I guess those who were around me/who witnessed must've been happy. Now thinking about it now, seeing infant's first walk makes me happy. Then I utter, "well done! I am happy for you, and I wish and pray you walk continuously."

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I must've said "mama" or "papa" as my first word, but I'm not sure. It could've been something else. Why am I writing these? Because it is almost midyear thanksgiving in the Iglesia ni Cristo, for the 108th anniversary. I wanted to write so that I can tell God what I am really thankful for.

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My first laughter, my first prayer, words that I can read, first writing, first song, first crush, first dirty thought, first taste of delicious food, first sin, first asking for forgiveness, first favorite show, first instrument played, first good grade, first pay, first movie, first curiosity, first question, first fall, first stumble, first tear, first pain, first hunger, first depression, first doubt, first thirst, first fear, first nightmare, first enemy, first ghost story, first place that I traveled, first embarrassment, first shout, first whisper, first game, first walk, first run, first marathon, first money saved, first phone, first clothes, first sock, first pair of shoe, first kick, first empathy, first story ever told, first cheat, first lie, first rain, first sunshine, first star gazing, first swim, first corruption, first lust, first tickle, first wrong grammar, first mistake, first accuse, first excuse, first tooth, first accident...

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As you can see, I can go on and on with the same formula of saying "I don't remember exactly how it goes... but I know it must've been good and bad."

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Dear God,

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Dear God. I have so much to thank you for. Before the worship service, I wanted to write. And I wanted to let you know that this came from my heart. May you be glorified.

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I am in my downfall right now. I get to see most of my friends graduating, finishing with their school and some are getting in high school, senior high school, and college. Others are maybe off looking for a job right now, for starting their future. Their story is on their hand. To be honest I am envious of how well they managed themselves in the end, and probably in the future. I don't know their struggles but I know they also cried, undergo with certain downfall in their life yet chose to persevere and walking continuously. Again, I am a little envious but I am very happy to see their success. They don't know that I am secretly cheering for them each moment they show online their picture.

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As I am writing, I am listening to songs that brought me memory.

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Dear God, I can never say thank you enough for giving me another life. You could've taken it already, but here I am writing for you. I can not hide any secrets from you everyday. Before you I am naked, yet you see me in my downfall most of the time. I am very sorry. Just remembering how many times you've heard my prayer and saved me from danger countless times makes me feel overwhelming right now. Who am I not to thank you? Who am I not to remember everything you did for me. Some may not recognize you, but someday before their deathbed they may say "God, thank you and I am sorry."

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Dear God, thank you for giving me a wonderful family. As of the moment we are separate but I remember the time when we were full, and that until now I keep and treasure. Dear God, remembering that every moment in my life the "then and tomorrow" is sometimes scary. I haven't done so much to praise you. This writing is not enough.

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Dear God. Even though I am not directly talking to you in front of me, but I notice you communicate to me in some way. Remembering the burning bush, I might die just facing you because you are divine. I am impure, but you are holy. Please accept my worship and offering of thanks.

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Dear God, I have so many questions and overtime you answer. Do you remember how many times how I put myself into danger? If there wasn't anybody around me, I could've been in life threatening situations. Tomorrow I have to cut my hair so that I may look good in front of you. I have requested our head secretary that I need to change schedule on serving my duty in your church so that I may prepare more.

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Dear God, thank you for hearing my prayer when I desperately need a job. Now that I am employed in an ESL Company, I cannot think and imagine another job that would accept me. I haven't finished my studies yet. I haven't been responsible lately. I have a lot of responsibilities that I must face and finish, yet here I am.

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Dear God, am I on a race right now? By that I mean do I have to have a good degree in order to serve you? But I guess school is designed so that I may question, be responsible, and work.

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Forgive me oh Lord if I am this way. I am easily misunderstood because I don't express much. I hope this writing may not be empty because I am reflecting right now.

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Thank you...

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I got so much to thank you. I had a good childhood and experience. I am still young now and far off from my journey. But who knows where and when is the end of my line in this play called life.

And again I have so much to thank you for.

Author's Note

This is just personal thoughts, feelings, and tribute to the Almighty.